Thursday, 4 February 2010
04:52:02 PM (GMT)
Made In Japan
There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing.
On his last day, he hail a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.
During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the
window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan."
After awhile, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again the Japanese man leaned out of the
window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan."
And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out
of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan."
The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number
of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport.
The fare was $300. The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah...so expensive!"
There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan."
Little Johnny is walking down the hall when he hears a noise from his parents room.
He knocks on the door and asks his mom what's going on. "Playing cards," she replies.
"Who's your partner?" asked little johnny. "Your father!"
Content with his answer, Little Johnny walks further down the hall towards his room
when he hears the same noise coming from his sister's room. Again, he knocks on the
door and asked his sister what was she doing. "Playing cards." "With who?" he asks.
"My boyfriend!" she says.
A short while later, Little Johnny's father is walking down the hall and hears a
noise coming from Little Johnny's room. He knocks on the door and asks "What are you
doing?" "Playing cards!" replied Johnny. "Who's your partner?" asked his father...
Little Johnny answers promptly, "With a hand like this who needs a partner?"
What Would You Do?
A middle-aged man returns home from a business trip a day early, concerned that his
wife may be having an affair. He's riding in a taxi at about 2:00 in the morning back
towards his house, when he explains his situation to the taxi driver.
It's after midnight. While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.
He explains to the cabbie that he suspects his wife is sleeping around on him, and
offers the him $50 if he would be a witness to the affair, if he could catch her in
bed with him. By the time they reach his house, the cabbie agrees.
They park a few doors down and, quietly, sneak into the front door and up the stairs.
Then, with a burst of speed, the husband flicks on the bedroom lights and rips the
blanket off the bed - and there his wife lays in bed with another man!
Out of his coat pocket, the visibly distraught husband pulls out a gun and puts it to
the naked man's head. Just then, his wife yells "Don't do it! I lied when I told you
I inherited all that money!..."
HE paid for the Mercedes I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin in the mountains.
HE paid for your Atlanta Braves season tickets.
HE paid for our our lakehouse and boat.
HE paid for your country club membership, and and HE even pays the monthly dues!'
Shaking his head, unsure of whether to pull the trigger, he looks over at the taxi
driver and asks "What should I do?"
The taxi driver replies, "I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold."
Where Do Babies Come From?
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in
love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his
penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis
in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”