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This diary entry is written by becauseigothigh. ( View all entries )
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mackenzie.Category: (general)
Sunday, 15 November 2009
09:05:44 PM (GMT)

it's not that i don't care, because we both know that i do. it's just hard to be
perfect enough for you. like, you assume shit about me all the time. if you really
loved me and thought of me as your best friend, you wouldn't just assume i'd do all
this bitchy stuff that you daily assume i do. i'm not a bitch, and i don't do
ANYTHING against you. but every time we work out a problem that YOU have with ME,
there's always another. well, kenzie, i'm not perfect. we're falling apart. you can't
tell me SHIT. you pay some random old lady every wednesday to listen to you. but you
can't tell your best friend? that's not normal. she HAS to care, kenzie. she's PAID
to care. but me, do i have to? no. am i paid to? no. i just really DO care. you
should trust your friends more than her. i'm just sick of you problems overcoming
all. and the online relationship thing. just ugh. i tried on saturday night so hard,
but you don't give a shit. of course i'm not going to try all night, because we do
this ALL the time. and every time we do it, you still don't end up telling me. it's
not even worth trying. and for me to try at least 4 times, and get rejected, that's
hard. and then you get mad at me for not trying to squeeze it out of you. sorry i
have respect if you just don't want to talk about it. if you want to tell me, then
tell me. i shouldn't have to choke it out of you, zie. you never care about my
problems. you always just say "sorry". like, on friday night, when i told you & emily
that cam dumped me, you we're like "i'm sorry" ONCE and then giggled with emily for
the rest of the night. my friends. |: i understand your problems are just as bad as
mine, but it's not like we ever even talk about mine. and on saturday night, you
exactly said "this is the last way i want you to deal with it and i just don't want
to talk about it" well, what do you expect me to do? beat you up so you'll tell me?
no. i gave up, because you wouldn't have told me anyway. and then the computer was
the only thing i had to do. i didn't even know you were crying. i wasn't going to sit
there & stare at the top of your head all night. it was insanely awkward. i don't
know what to do. i just feel like you only care about yourself.

KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   712555  
you're not perfect, i know. i don't expect you to be perfect either.
i really do tell you mostly everything gabby. i tell you mainly
everything i tell her. there is not a lot more that you need to know.
she cares gabby. she really does. she's human. of course i care about
you more, but you cannot compare you and my therapist. i care about
you more than tamaur. just because i tell her everything with more
detail. my problems overcoming all? why would i want to tell you stuff
is that is how you think of it. you're obviously sick of my problems.
you shouldn't give a shit if i tell her. cause than i can fix them and
you won't have to think they're overcoming all.  i don't even want to
talk about saturday night. we will both just argue about different
things. i didn't know what to do when you told me about cam. emily
said something rude and started laughing. i like froze. and at first i
said i'm sorry. and than i went to you and i was trying to talk to
you. and i was laying with you. and you were like dude last. and when
you anwsered stuff that i was asking about it, you were like. "mhm"
"k" and then after you said dude last i just rolled back where i was
laying and i said "well, i'm trying,k" we have way too many problems
with each other. all the time. they're non-stop. and we both have
different opinions on everything. you always think something and i
always think something else. i don't know what we should do.
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   355482  
i can compare me and her. because she does care, but she wouldn't if
you didn't pay her. think of it that way. it's her job to care. i do
it out of choice. but you still tell her WAY more.

i'm sick of this. 
KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   443855  
it's been so many years.
i don't know anymore.
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   565146  
know about? 
KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   202493  
does it still work?
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   502377  
since when is any of this talking about not being friends anymore?
i think we're a little more mature than that kenzie.
who does that anymore? 
KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   249165  
haha i dunno.
i biggest.
do you want to work this out?
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   807916  
what is there to work out? 
KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   382993  
what you need to.
emily is being really last.
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   379699  
i know she is. 
KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   330816  
she's like ignoring me.
and than i was like "whatever"
and she was like "whatver, that's how it feels" or something.
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   242121  
KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   913321  
i love you.
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   312417  
i love you too.
wanna hear the ghettoest?
lars is hanging with shaylee tomorrow.
g ghetto. 
KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   870328  
who's that? haha.
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   197264  
that girl with the beanie & blonde hair he did the snowball w/ at
KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   458969  
haahah. ghetto. he told me that "he found somebody" and it's her.
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   963591  
k first off, my picture.
second, look at our comments.
KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   902712  
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   198202  
becauseigothigh says:   15 November 2009   186685  
me have no coldsore in that pic.

KenzayeeRae says:   15 November 2009   321152  
becauseigothigh says :   15 November 2009   188644  


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