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The difference btwn men and wmenCategory: jokes
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
07:56:49 AM (GMT)

Here it is nicely illustrated: 

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to
a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her
out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other
regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then,
one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without
really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been
seeing each other for exactly six months?'' And then there is silence in the car. To
Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if
it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our
relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation
that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship,
either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about
whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . .
I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this
level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a
lifetime together? Am I ready
for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . .February when
we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which
means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this
completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more
commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling
some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say
anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I
don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not
try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees
out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those
incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I
feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just
not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's
exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a
Knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a
perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about,
a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my
self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a goddamn
warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their......

''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.
"What?'' says Roger, startled.
''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim
with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . . Oh God, I feel so......'' (She breaks
down, sobbing.)
''What?'' says Roger.
''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know
that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''
''There's no horse?'' says Roger.
''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.
''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says. 
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come
up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
''Yes,'' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.
''What way?'' says Roger.
"That way about time,'' says Elaine.
''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very
nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last
''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.
''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and
weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of
Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a
tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far
recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the
car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he
figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy
regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they
will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they
will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time
again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning,
considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject,
off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but
never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and
Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: ''Norm, did Elaine ever
own a horse?''

badboy22 says:   30 September 2009   375263  
Dude!!! It's hilarious!LMAO
U da man...been a while since i got an intelligent joke.Bigup
‹☆ρïṉαÿ~ƒø~lïƒε☆› says:   1 October 2009   285257  
wow dats some stupid funny ass shit lolz but so fake!
Klyv says :   3 October 2009   571265  
It ain't fake...these things happen


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