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This diary entry is written by ‹She'llFlyThatBlackHawkDown♥.›. ( View all entries )
 
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I Was Broken- PLEASE READ AND COMMENTCategory: (general)
Saturday, 29 August 2009
03:46:33 PM (GMT)
This doesn't have anything to do with my story. It's just what happened to me last
night =/
The song is I Was Broken by Rob Pattionson:



     The music then swarmed around me, slightly numbing the pain. An acustic guitar
played the introduction to the song, sounding like and angel would playing a harp.
Then the singing began.
    
     I was lonely,
     I was tired,
     Now I'm bound.
     My head is off the ground.
    
     For a long time, I was so weary,
     Tired of sound
     I heard before

     His voice swirled around me like a musical tornado, and hearing his raw, perfect
singing made me forget about everything in the world. Hot tears poured from my eyes,
but they felt good against the ice cold of my pale, translucent skin. 

     Knowing of the nights I'm out the door.
     Haunted by the things I did
     Stuck between the burning light
     And the dusty shade.

     Said I,
     Used to think the past was dead and gone,
     I was wrong,
     So wrong,
     Elements of blindness make you strong
     Make you strong
     In my time I melted into many forms,
     From the day that I was born, no.

     My heartbead was dulled with the high volume of my radio and I didn't care about
anything anymore. Everything I had held dear slipped through my fingers and onto the
floor. I was breaking, but he didn't know that, because he was away. He was
celebrating his birthday while I broke into a million pieces in the dark crevaces of
my bedroom. The mans voice got higher and more beautiful, and so, the tornado wipping
around me sped around faster and faster. 

     I know there's no place to hide.
     Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light

     I was broken
     For a long time
     But it's over now

     Said I was broken
     For a long time
     But it's over now

     I could feel myself slipping away as the tears poured even faster from my light
blue eyes. When I stared ahead into my mirror, I saw the face of death. I had black
eyeliner smeared down my face and my cheeks were stroked with tears. I was clutching
myself with both arms, hoping all the pieces that I was split into would stay
together just for a little while longer.

     Yes, and you
     Yeah, you walk these lonely streets where people stand
     People stand
     And some people just can't
     And I do pretend
     I'm free from all the things that saved my friends
     I was there until the end
     I know I can take the moon
     Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light

    I was then crippled by the feeling that someone had punched a hole through my
chest, taking all my insides and lighting them on fire. The gaping wound burned and
throbbed with every heartbeat. The pain in my chest spread to every part of me as
soon as I hit the floor. My lungs were still inside me, but I couldn't breathe. I
gasped for air, but it never came. My heart thudded brokenly as my gasps mixed with
the man's voice. The musical tornado was now pushing me down, and down. I could most
certainly feel the pain- the agonizing loss of everything I held dear, spreading from
the gash in my chest in waves of pain throughout my entire body. I took the pain like
I was talking change from a chasheer. I was drowning in the waves of loss that numbed
even my touch so I could suffer with just feeling the pain. 

     I was broken
     For a long time
     But it's over now
     It's over now

     The pain within me twisted around all the organs in my body, knotting them
together causing me scream an agonised gurgle. I kept screaming as my organs wrenched
even more. Everything around my vision began to blur, and I was hoping I was finally
losing conciousness. The twisting continued and so did my screaming. I was grateful
none of my parents were home. I was grateful I had hung up with Dustin and I was
happy Niik wasn't aloud to come over. My screams continued to echo off my bedroom
walls as I brought Dustin, Robbie and Conner's faces to my mind.
     Conner's birthday was supposed to be today, he should've turned 18, but he's
dead. His carefree laugh echoed off my skull and the pain speared my stomach. I
missed him so much, but he was the reason I became like this. He was why I had become
depressed. 
     And poor Dustin had to deal with the mess I was. 
     It was Dustin's birthday also, he was turning 15. I missed his touch, his smell-
everything about him was absent from me. The way his every touch sent electric pulses
though me and the way his kisses made me feel like I was perfect. He made me feel
utterly beautiful, even when I definately wasn't beautiful now. And the way he looked
at me made me feel like he truly loved me more then he could explain. He was gone
though. I hadn't seen him since he moved away, but we talked. We talked about what we
wanted our futures to look like, and about how much we missed eachother. But his
voice could only hold me above the water for so long. 
    Robbie was the very first boy I loved. He was the one who sculpted me into what I
am. He was kind before we went to middle school, he had that clueless-cute-boy
attatude that made me fall head over heels. He would smile and I thougt nothing else
could make me as happy as he made me. His tanned skin made his smile brighter and his
passion for sports made him tall and muscular. He was great, untill he broke me down
and sent my life in a downward spiral, where I made too many mistakes to count. 
     My vision blurred alltogether, and I was finally able to grasp denial and my
conciousness as my screams became groans of pain. With one more stab at my stomach, I
became totally numb and I finally closed my eyes to the world as I finally drowned in
the water I'd been tredding for too long. No one could rescue me now.

Comments 
orangelove47 says:   29 August 2009   445796  
I'm so sorry that had to happen...
 
‹†Gothic~Angels~Shadow†› says:   29 August 2009   419757  
I'm sorry, feel better, okay -hugs-
 
‹She'llFlyThatBlackHawkDown♥.› says:   29 August 2009   733648  
To Orange:: Yea, shit happens =/
To Loveless:: -hugs back- Yea, I'll get glued back together somehow.
 
UndeadImmortal says:   29 August 2009   266533  
So to hear that  Hope your okay
 
‹She'llFlyThatBlackHawkDown♥.› says:   29 August 2009   344748  
To Undead:: I'm alright now :]
 
NiikShotTheLoveBullet says:   1 September 2009   753859  
OH SHIT
i didnt know you got so bad... was this the first time you broke like
this?
‹She'llFlyThatBlackHawkDown♥.› says :   1 September 2009   843167  
Yup ^^
lol, i loves ya niik, but i was so glad you were grounded.
 

 
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