Shortened version of New Moon. Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 
 

This diary entry is written by NinjaDino. ( View all entries )
 
Previous entry: Account stats for August. :] in category (general)
.....

Shortened version of New Moon.Category: (general)
Saturday, 6 September 2008
02:06:11 AM (GMT)
Bella didn't die in the first one,cause Edward spit her back out.Cause.She tasted
like urine.

*At The Cullen's on Bella's birthday*

Bella: SORRY DEWDZ,I SRSLY CAN'T OPEN MAH GIFTS.I'M HANDICAPPED.LIEK BILLEH.O
WAIT,MAYBE I'M JUST STUHPID.
Jasper: (Hands Bella a card) OMG HURR BELLA.OPEN THIZ
PRESENT,IT'Z GOT LIEK RLY SHARP ENDS ESPECIALLY FER YEW.
Bella: OH WELL THANK YEW JASPUR. (Opens it,and gets a papercut)
Jasper: ZOMG IMMA EATCHU BITCH.OM NOM NOM!!!YEW SO YUMMAY.
Edward: BACK OFF YEW HOE I HAVEN'T BATHED HER YET.SHE STILL TASTEZ LIEK
URINE.
Jasper: DAMN THAT CHARLAY.

*In the forest*

Edward: Yeah.I'm kinda going.
Bella: WHUT THE FUCK.YEW CAN'T JUST LEAVE MEEEEEE.
Edward: Yes,I can,bitch.
Bella: AFTER ALL THEZE YEARZZZZZZZ WE SPENT TOGETHURRRR.YER JUST GUNNA THROW
OUR RELATIONSHIP AWAY.I WIPED YOUR ASS.
Edward: Yeah,and you didn't do a very good job.So I'm getting a new hoe.Just
like I'm going to Wal-Mart and getting a new pair of spiderman underwear.YEW RUINED
MAH FAVOURITE ONEZ.
Bella: (Drops to ground) YEW BASTARD.I LET YOU BORROW MAH
STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE ONEZ.
Edward: Bye you useless whore.(Walks off.)

*At the movies with Mike*

Bella: KAY SRSLY I THINK WE SHOULD SEE A GORE MOVIE.
Mike: Oh,no.
Bella: WE'RE SEEING A GORE MOVIE UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO TELL EVERYONE YOU WET
YOUR PANTZ.
Mike: Fine,fine.Just keep that a secret.
(Halfway through the movie)
Mike: Uh,I have to go use the bathroom.That popcorn really got to me.
Bella: SHHHH.GO AWAY.
Mike: BLECHHHHH.(Pukes all over Bella)
Bella: WHAT THE FUCK IS YO PROBLEM.SRSLY YOU DON'T GO AROUND PUKING ON PPL
LIKE DAT.
Mike: I'm so sorry,Bella.I just....saw your face...and it made me
remember...(Pukes again) Yeah,you remind me of...that.
Bella: APOLOGY ACCEPTED. :D

*In Port Angeles with Jessica*

Bella: (Sees the gangbangers from before) ZOMG IT'Z THEM.NOW
EDWARD CAN'T STOP ME.(Goes towards them)
Edward's voice inside her head: YES I CAN FOO.YOU BEST BACK AWAY.
Bella: OHHHHHHHHH SHEEEEIIIITT.I IZ IN SUM TRUBBLE NAO.
Edward's voice inside her head: Damn right yew iz.When I get home,I'm gettin
that belt.
Bella: OH NOOEEEZ.
Edward's voice: Oh yez.And yew grounded fo six weeks,mofo.

(Skips all the parts without Edward in it,because everyone else
did.)

*In Volterra with Alice*

Bella: (Sees Edward about to step into the sun) OH MAH DAMN,I IZ
GUNNA BE BLINDED AGAIN.EDUARDO,DUNT DO IT.
Edward: WHO THA FACK ARE YEW!?
Bella: ITS ME,YOOR TRUE LOVE.BELLA.
Edward: BITCH YOU'VE GOTTEN UG-LAY.
Bella: KAY BUT DUNT GO INTO THE SUNLIGHT UR GUNNA BLIND TEH VOLTURI AND THURR
GUNNA CHOP UR BALLZ OFF.
Edward: ILL DO WHUT I WUNT BITCH.(Steps into the sun)
Volturi: FOOOOO,YEW GUNNA DIEEEEEEEE.Wait.Come back into my office for a while
and have some tea. 

*Inside the Volturi's place*

Volturi: K SO SRSLY.WE DUNT WANNA KILL YEW OR BELLA CUZ YURR TALENTED AND SHEZ
HAWT.SO WERE GUNNA COME BAK TO UR HOUSE LATER AND SHELL BE CHANGED WHEN WE
COME.(Changes into Howie Mandel)Deal...or no deal?
Edward: IMMA TAKE TEH MONEY AND GO.

The End!*!*!!*!*!!*!*

Comments 
The_Fluffy_One says:   6 September 2008   154279  
I love this.
xD
Just like the first 'un.
 
morganMAYDAY says:   6 September 2008   832188  
ROFLING.
OMG I loved this.
AerithLight says:   7 September 2008   926958  
ROFLLL. That was epic, my dear. 8D
 
NinjaDino says:   7 September 2008   789377  
Thank youuuuuu. :D
I'm working on Eclipse. xD
 
LaaLAUREN says:   11 September 2008   865727  
Rofl [':
I loved it
hehe
 
NinjaDino says :   11 September 2008   992182  
Thank yeww.
 
 
HTML Tips

 
Next entry: New account. in category (general)
.....
Related Entries
silly_satyr: Taste like Candy Canes in X-mas!!!
EatMeOutside: Children Are A Gift From God Poem
StrangeLover: War poem
‹HiddenFlare›: Love and War Hope Dairy
‹VECTOR-USMC›: So true.


About Kupika    Contact    FAQs    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy    Online Safety
Copyright © 2005-2012