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This diary entry is written by spartan_h3art. ( View all entries )

a day in my lifeCategory: (general)
Thursday, 12 April 2007
06:19:35 AM (GMT)
so..last night as usual i went to sleep around 4 am...sitting up in the dark
listening to mcr, greenday , poets of the fall etc....not knowning y im alive or wat
purpose i have to exist.... i got up around 10am n the first thing my dad cud tel me
is...." i want u out of this house as soon as possible"...my cousin sis is getting
engaged today n everyone in the family is invited except guess who??? "me"... n then
i moved my ass outta the house around 11.30 to get a smoke....n from 11.30 to 12.30 i
was sitting in the side walks of a ground smoking with the heat of the sun straight
on to my face....n the light so bright that i cant see n e thing else other than
white light....k so i was sitting there wondering n wat i did so wrong to deserve
this....i went back home around 1pm n i picked up my acoustic guitar n played it for
like 15 mins n then i got pissed realising there's no point... its impossible to
achieve n e thing in music in this damn country n i started having memories of my
elec guitar that my friend has stolen...(which he denies upto this date"bastard")...
n then i was sitting there staring at the walls listening to music...n my x gf called
me jus to tel me that she pretended to love me only coz i was in a band back then n
that everyone knew that she was cheating on me with my best friend( hate me now)...n
no one cared to tel me coz no one really cares about me....n then i got pissed n jus
hung up the fone... i got too depressed to do n e thing so i went to my terrace sat
on top of the water tank ( 5 floors high 15 sq feet dead drop on all 4 sides)...so i
sat there smoking more cigarettes...n less weed( trying to quit)....n then later i
come back down n i see my mom n all i cud see in her eyes for me was hatred....so i
rush to my room( my mom tried to food poison me once)...n i go online try being
friendly n nice (wen inside im lost like tears in rain) to a few ppl i kno...n then
later it gets dark...so i go out to to the ground to sit in the side walks( it looks
beautiful at night under the dark blue sky n stars) n on my lucky days the local
gangs get hold of me...n take me to munna( the bastard who runs the gang n burnt my
hand once, stabbed me on my shoulders, made a bike runover my feet coz i refused to
go sell his drugs or work for our territory in some way or the other).....so they
take me there...n he asks me to go get some money back froma  guy who owns him
money.... i have no choice so i go n meet the guy(he's from a different hood) n i
found him there with his friends...so i go up to him n ask him for the money...n he
pushes me away...n i push him back n we have a fight...beat each other up(3 more guys
had come with me)....n we brought em on the ground took his fone wallet n
everything...n i go back to meet munna to give him the stuff...n then he give me a
cut n threatens me saying if i dont keep this up he'll kill me....n then i go home
with hatred n anger burning inside of me...i go to my room n cut my self for hurting
someone who i dont know n who hasnt done n e thing bad to me...n then i realise im
bleeding too much n still have a string of hope for an angel...so i sit n cry n pray
n beg for an angel....n then after that i go online be nice to ppl..i have a few
friends who always need advice from me..so i help them out ...n then i go to the cd
shop..n rent a couple of movies..... then i go home watch them..talk to ppl
online...n then go to sleep around 4 am.....with nothing to look forward to in
life...n with no reason for my existence....
welcome to my life....
Last edited: 12 April 2007

Punkch1ck sings:   12 April 2007   655928  
I love you!
fiona_rae says:   12 April 2007   475441  
‹MusicDefinesLove› says :   12 April 2007   178732  
Thats a sad life !!!!!!!

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