Friday, 24 October 2014
11:42:38 PM (GMT)
So when I go out in public my confidence is like a little meter in video games. You
know, like the health gauge or the mana gauge or the rage gauge or whatever.
Well it's never quite full, probably only ever about 75% at best.
So I go out all 75% and feeling pretty good
As I see more and more people the gauge slowly starts dropping
Sometimes I do things like make a witty comment or get a compliment and my gauge goes
up a bit.
None of that happened tonight.
The night wears on and things aren't looking to great. I'm practically a ghost to
Then I see someone I sorta know. She was a friend of my sister's. She's waiting on
her friend who I most definitely know whose in the bathroom.
I try to smile at her. She smiles back. No recognition in her eyes. That's okay, she
doesn't really know me all that well. Who cares if I know her name and her face?
The guy comes out. He used to be one of my best friends. We used to hang out all the
time. I know his full name, his face, his likes and dislikes, where he lives. He was
also friends with my sister and my ex. I smile and do a little wave. He looks for a
brief second then walks past me. No recognition. I'm a ghost.
I go and use the bathroom and then walk to my car.
I sit in my car. I just sit there for a minute. Am I really that forgettable? Why is
it that I always remember people, I always remember their faces and their names, but
they never remember me?
Last edited: 24 October 2014