Thursday, 5 July 2012
05:19:46 PM (GMT)
Five prompts.... My God...
I've never been to China. Can't say it's ever appealed to me, either. Their Mafia
would probably try and recruit me, then have me hunted down and killed when I refuse.
A friend of mine went once, though. Came back with a pink fish tattooed on his arm.
I called him fruity. He punched me.
I might have to go, though. Just to get away. And how much further away from London
can I get? I'm a thief, murderer, escapist, general reknowned drunk and bastard in
Ireland. I'm not going to Scotland. I'll not last a day. Don't get me started on
the Welsh. And how can I stay in England after you? At least in China, gingers are
a rare sighting.
All signs are pointing at me to get out of the country, but how the hell is that
going to happen? 'Go for it, O'Connell, just follow the little luminous green
arrows' right into more Police. And that'll get you in trouble, too. For letting me
go. Why did you? Why not just kill me?
She couldn't sink to your level.
I think I'll stay in London. It probably holds the record for the number of people
who want me dead, and who knows? Maybe one will get lucky.
You won't be missed.
I said, shut it.
There, see? Even I want me dead.
I'll stay here, get pissed every night, and maybe my body'll kill me before the guns.
Who cares, anyway? I'm dead now without you.
I saw you the yesterday.
At least now I know for sure that I can leave you and you'll not be hurt by me any
I would say that I'm sorry, but there's no point.
You don't care.
Anyway, I digress. This is the bit that matters.
So, here you are, Skye. If you ever care enough to know where I am.
This is my suicide note, and nothing's sugarcoated.
I love you. Completely and utterly. Without you, my life means nothing. Living in
Everywhere I look, every flash of orange hair, every echo of a Police siren... Even
by granting me a free life, you've killed me, because I can't see you.
So now. Who'm I kidding... there is no now.
These stars... The ones I'm looking at while I'm writing this... They're ugly. What
morals do they have? Watching everything beneath them? Too many to count...
I know I can't make you care. But something inside me... Hell, my whole being hopes
that even something will make a difference with this letter. Even if you hate me
more. It'll be something. At least you won't have forgotten me.
These stars are the only things that'll see me. Besides you, they're the only ones
who will read this letter, and if you're ever bored enough to count them, you're
still way under how much I love you.
And, because I know it'll save you the trouble, I jumped. Into the river. Into the
Thames. And there're weights in my pockets. I drowned. Voluntarily.
This is suicide, Skye.
Because I'm too much of a damn coward to face the monster I've become.
But once upon a time, you saw beyond the monster, and I'm begging you... Please,
please remember that man now. And never forget me. Hate the monster with all
your heart, but remember the man.
I'll love you until my oxgen runs out, and beyond that, because now I'm just writing
in the hope that you'll come and stop me.
But I know that'll never happen. So I'll say I love you twice more, put down this
pen, and leave you in peace. I love you, Skye. Don't forget that.
I love you.
Last edited: 5 July 2012