Tuesday, 14 September 2010
10:05:40 AM (GMT)
THIS diary entry is About TRANSGENDERS, mainly like myself.
For the most part-I believe i should have been born a male and liked guys. but
somehow-i ended up as a female...great...
Theirs these MTF and FTM surgery's. ( and if you don't know what that means- MTF=Male
to Female, and likewise just opposite-FTM=Female to Male.)
I Am indeed Female right now-but i want to go through with the FTM surgery to get my
breasts removed-they're really small but still.
If i binded them it would probably really look like i WAS flat chested.
but the bad part is-im deadly afraid of hospitals, needles, shots...exc. etc,.
So MAYBE what I'll do is just bind for the rest of my life and claim i'm the right
gender of a a male- if i really did a have a bind tho i would be yes indeed, going to
the males bathrooms. I HATE going to woman's public bathroom, usually their fairly
clean yes-but still they somehow get so nasty feminine stuff.>>Not going into details
I really want to go to the surgery but then heres what i think-
. What would my father think of me? - He already dislikes the fact strongly
that i just love and support gay/bi sexual/Lesbian people altogether And to change
my sex and become a male-i think that would just tear him apart.I'm not saying that i
won't love him, but how will he react to both that and THEN telling him it's because
i believe this and i love guys only.so then basically he'd have a gay son.... he has
3 daughters (including me). So just...yeah....
.It's something i MIGHT regret later in life.-I'm kind of afraid to do the
surgery,... i mean,- i know i won't grow back the breast if i get rid of them, later
on i might be all "...awww...".. ya'know?... hm.. maybe not..... i for the most part,
HATE boobs & think their icky. :x
.Scars. :x-Let me ask you this-have you ever SEEN the FTM scars on their
chest? not pretty.... sure they fade/go away after a time but still-im not one for
pain- i tend to cry really easily actually.
.What will happen to my friends and lifestyle?-I think for the most part- my
TRUE friends would still love me for who i am-but their are some friends..well let me
just say this.. a few days ago, one of my 'friends' came up to me and said this to my
face-"If you ever become a guy i won't be friends with you." Was that some kind of
threat?... why would you say something like that to me?.. I would still be
your friend if you changed. Why is it sp different to you that I
change?...I just don't get it...
.Testosterone.-Remember-I don't like shots here,.. so i'd probably get the
patch-i HEARD they have one.. not sure... but yeah- im sort of afraid.... i mean,..
will it change my voice forever? Or just until i take off the patch or after a few
months,-personally, i LIKE my cracky, girly voice. I'm weird but-YES!
AND thats it basically,.. i would LOVE it if you had some advice to me, and don't
give me or anyone else any crap just because we're diffrent from you,. Treat everone
the way you want to be treated. and thats it so buh-bye~!
that sounded so gay :x