Thursday, 25 February 2010
09:35:18 PM (GMT)
my smile fades as those words go through my mind over and over. i feel the pain that
i havnt felt in years. the pain that made me start in the begining. i reach under my
mattress and grab my stash to wash away this pain, to make this pain subside. i grab
one of my many razor blades that doesn't have blood covering it. i search for a place
that hasnt been mutilated already by one of my sharp blades. i find a place on my
wrist were you can see my veins. i press the sharp metal tip hard against my skin and
slowly push it through my skin and slice across till i see the blood bubble up and
over flow the cut. the pain subsides for now as i cut a little deeper till the blood
drips from my wrist onto my bed. i put my stash back under my mattress as i stare at
my open skin grabing my wrist and tightening my grip makin me feel more pain. i know
this isnt normal, or healthy but its the only thing that helps me through the day.
i'm hoping one day this wont be how i escape my pain but for now this is how i will
have to live...