Tuesday, 24 November 2009
10:55:13 PM (GMT)
I mentioned falling in love.
But... She's a girl... When girls fall in love with girls, it's not a matter of
working up the courage to talk to them, because they may not be able to like you. And
that hurts. Any romantic move people make in homosexual relationships is made with
the idea this is probably going to hurt me, but how can I go on without
But I don't really like love. I find the whole thing rather stupid. That whole thing
in bold sounds corny to me, and not worth it at all. Not to mention all the setbacks
to me talking to her, like getting sick. I decided it was fate.
So I had given up on Emily.
You have received a FaceBook IM.
Wow, I thought, it's Emily. If I still really had a crush on her this would make me
so happy. I wish this made me happy...
Emily and I had a conversation about movies, since we were both watching movies while
talking. She was watching Sixth Sense, and I was watching Shrek 3.
The covo was something like this.
Emily: Oh, this little boy character is so adorable! I could just adopt him.
Janet: I just love cute kids ^^
Emily: It sucks when boys grow up an stop being sweet.
Janet: I know!
Emily: I love it when guys act young and cute. I like a snuggle.
AT this point when telling Jess about that conversation, Jess stopped me and said
"Janet- PuhLEASE tell me you didn't say 'I'd like to snuggle YOU'"
To any who wondered this... Nonononono! Nothing like that!
Janet: I kinda like it when boys are pretty.
Emily: Nonono! That's bad.
Janet: What? But when their big and manly it's gross...
Emily: Gay boys I like, but pretty boys?
Janet: Gay boys are fun to hang out with, but you can't date them.
Looking back, I think Emily may have been testing the waters to see how I felt about
Emily: I like girls, too.
Janet: O.O I was going to ask you out this weekend but I got sick...
Emily: That sucks...
Janet: It's not a lie though.
Emily: I know
Janet: Would you want to go out some time?
... Oh. Oh! Um... Oh! It... Oh!! She said yes! And the conversation just moved on
after that. We were talking for like three hours. My date is tommorrow.
Emily is very pretty, I think. Blonde hair, very short. She's taller then me with the
most amazingly femine voice. She doesn't talk much, but what she says is always
something she's thought about.
As for me... Well, you've seen pictures. I consider myself "Quite pretty" and "pretty
enough". You know those horrible ratings boys give girls? "Are you from Tennese,
because your the only ten-I-see"? stuff like that?
I think I'm a low eight. I Like being a low eight. If I'm a low eight, then no one
bothers me, looking for dates, but if I like someone, I have a chance.
Mostly, I like not being bothered.
Love isn't my thing, but I'm going on a date.
I asked her out in facebook, but she's the one who asked me to the movies... I think.
Or, maybe it was... Oh I don't know. I asked her if she'd like to go out online, and
she asked if I had plans tommorrow before global, and I asked if she'd brave entering
a mall a mere fifty hours before black friday, and she laughed and said yes would I
like to see a movie.
Um... Traditionally, a boy asks a girl out, and he pays. I had planned to just play
the boy part in that, but she beat me to it... Partially...
Oh course, I think part of the reason for me freaking out like this is becaudse I
think I'm supposed to be freaking out for some reason, and I'm not, and that
isn't very normal, so I'm trying to act more like a human with typical human emotions
by freaking out.
Ho hum, what a bother, fuddeling out my feelings.
The point is, I like Emily. Being with her makes me happy. And I think I make her
happy to, who knows how, so I'm going to go on this date.
Wish me luck?