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This diary entry is written by Mew_Emo_Chibi. ( View all entries )
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Help me pleaseCategory: (general)
Monday, 21 July 2008
09:06:02 AM (GMT)
Hey i'm starting to write a sad love story that is also going to be funny. I've
already written the prologue and a bit of the first chapter please will you tell me
what you think about it. Thanks!

(One thing the person is a boy not a girl)

     Smoke. Everything was covered in a thin layer of smoke, a loud beeping noise
kept repeating it’s self over and over giving me a headache. I didn’t realise though,
I just pulled the pillow over my head trying to block out the noise thinking this was
how a hangover felt. 
     The air was thick and hard to inhale, the sound of running feet must have past
my room about a million times. Soon someone was banging on my door screaming my name
and saying I needed to get out of there; I just ignored him though and grabbed my
IPod putting Papa Roach Time and Time Again on full volume. The banging on the door
stopped and the beeping was soon accompanied by loud sirens, I just thought it was
the song.
     About half way into the song I began choke violently. The smoke was thick,
thicker than it was a second ago. The room was heating up badly, I threw my IPod away
from me as it began to burn my hand the headphones disconnected themselves from it as
it hit the floor. The sirens continued though, they weren’t from the song. Then I
realised what was going on, there was a fire and I was still in it. 
     I climbed out of bed trying to see through the smoke and breathe as little as I
could; carefully I walked over to the door and touched the handle but quickly
withdrew my hand. It was boiling hot. This wasn’t good, I couldn’t escape through a
window since I didn’t have one so I was stuck in this room filled with smoke.
Hopefully I would pass out before the fire burnt down my door; I wouldn’t feel
anything that way.
     It wasn’t long before breathing became even more hard and painful, it’s now
impossible to see anything threw the smoke and the heats unbearable. The choking
started again but god still won’t let me die damn it, how I wish he would. The sirens
had stopped five minutes ago and all I can hear is the roar of the fire, this
wouldn’t be happening if I didn’t go and get drunk at that party last night.
     Suddenly the door was on fire, more smoke entered the room and the heat rose.
But that was all dead to me now, this felt like the day when my parents died. A few
days after that fire at the hotel I got a letter from the people who started the
hotel fire saying they would kill me in the same way but after three years that fear
faded, yet the police never caught them. I crawled backwards until my back hit the
wall, the fire was spreading fast. A pain ran through my head and memory of the hotel
fire came to mind. 

     We were all sitting on the couch in our large hotel room laughing and smiling;
the TV was on the program Top Gear. The kettle began to whistle, saying that the
water had boiled. Tinkerbelle my mum stood up and started to make the tea, a bit
annoyed she was missing the program. Suddenly there was a loud bang making her drop
the kettle and spill some of the water on her bare foot, unlike most people she
laughs at pain saying it only hurts if you fear it but if you laugh at it, it will
cower away.
     The pain in my head faded as the flashback faded, leaving only the memory and
fresh tears in my eyes. I tried to hold them back but with the smoke stinging them as
well it wasn’t easy. I could never bear to watch top gear or Peter Pan after that or
even drink tea, which was annoying because I loved tea. I mourned over their deaths
for ages especially Amy’s my younger sister who was only three, she never did
anything wrong and was a very strong catholic. She didn’t deserve to die. Then there
was another pain in my head and another memory flooded into my mind.

     The fire alarm had gone of a few minutes after the large bang, my dad James
helped mother to the door but it wouldn’t budge. Smoke started to leak into the room.
One annoying thing about this room even though it’s large and spacey there’s no
windows, so we couldn’t get rid of the smoke or escape. A five year old me and my
sister rushed to the kitchen and bathroom to find towels and dish clothes to stuff
under the door and stop the smoke, but as soon as they were under they caught on
fire. Amy screamed as the fire touched her hand, but she was too petrified to move so
it carried on burning and sneaking its way up her arm.

     Again the pain began to fade, leaving only the memory and even more tears. The
fire was now only a few metres away from me and just a few centimetres away from a
bottle of Vodka from the party last night. I’m not scared any more though; I just
want it to hurry up so I can die. Then I’ll be with my family again.
     Suddenly an outline of a person came into view behind the fire holding a hose, I
tried to sink back into the wall so the person wouldn’t see me but it didn’t work. As
soon as he was about to hose the fire, it hit the vodka bottle and exploded.  Making
me finally black out.

Chapter 1

     “Tinkerbelle!” My eyes fluttered open to the sound of my angry mum, groaning I
climbed out of the warm bed and headed downstairs.
     “Why are you still in your pyjamas?!” she screeched.
    “Maybe because it’s the weekend so I get to sleep in.” Yawning I rubbed the
sleepy dust out of my eyes; I really didn’t want to fight with her this early in the
     “Well, hurry up and get dressed. We’re going out to visit Doctor Kishu.”  Mum
snapped but her voice softened when she mentioned our doctor’s name.
     “What!” I yelled “But my next check up isn’t till next year.”
     “We’re not going because of you.” She sneered “He’s just adopted this boy who he
was looking after in hospital, and we are going to see him and congratulate him.”
Glaring at her I stalked back to my room and began to get ready for the day. 
     As you can tell I don’t get on well with my mum, I also get on worse with my dad
if that’s possible. Though you probably weren’t paying attention to the fight, so
stop laughing at my name I know it’s funny but it’s better than all those other
boring names everyone else has got. Just too tell ya I’m not always that grumpy, it’s
just that
One I hate my mum
Two it’s way too early in the morning
Three I was at a party last night and didn’t come home till four in the morning. 
After about ten minutes I looked in the mirror and smiled at my appearance.  I was
wearing a pink and black stripped top with long sleeves that showed my shoulders
black skinny shorts that ended just above my knees and black and pink conversers; my
brown hair was pulled back in a pony tail with two long curly strands left loose at
the front. 
     Taking one last look in the mirror I ran downstairs where my mum and dad waited,
both looking quite pissed off with me. as we were about to leave my mobile began to
ring, the song somebody told me by the killers blasted out from my bag at full
volume.  Smiling sheepishly at my parents I rummaged through my bag and flipped on my
flip phone.
     “Hey Heart!” Nikki said casually through the phone.
     “Hey Nikki, what’s up?”I asked walking back into the kitchen so I could escape
the glares from m parents.
     “Not much but I have some super cool news.” She replied.
     “What’s the news?” I sighed, either it was that there’s a cool party or rave
tonight or about boys.
     “You know Doctor Kishu?”
     “Yea.” I said slowly.
     “Well he’s been looking after this boy in hospital and he’s decided to adopt
     “Nikki I already knew that, we were just heading out to go congratulate him.”
     “Did you know that he’s drop dead gorgeous and our age?” 
     “Nikki I’ve gotta go before my parents drag me out bye.” Sighing I ended the
call and walked to the car where my parents were waiting impatiently, this surprised
me. Normally if I’m really slow they go on without me, the better not be trying to
get me to go out with this boy. 
     Five minutes later we arrived at the doctors house, I barely noticed though my
mind filled with questions. How did Nikki know that he adopted a boy? How did she
know he was our and is gorgeous? Why was he in the hospital? Why is he getting
adopted at the age of eighteen? What happened to his family? Then I remembered on the
news about a year ago that there was a fire in an orphanage not that far away, no one
got badly hurt except one boy. Maybe that was him.
     The doctor’s house was huge, it was more like a mansion. Correction, it was a
mansion! I just stood outside gaping at it for ages until my dad grabbed my arm and
pulled me along the path to the front door. My mum rang the doorbell and in one
second flat the doctor had answered the door, talk about overly keen.
     “Jane, John, Tinkerbelle! Come in come in.” He ushered us in and took us to the
living room which was about triple the size of ours, and ours is quite big. The spent
ages catching up and talking about politics, forgetting me completely. That is until
my phone rang again blurting out the killers again, going bright red I quickly
apologised and answered it in the hall. 
     “Heart, have you seen him yet?” Nikki screamed making me need to move the phone
away from my ear.
     “No not yet, I’ve been stuck in the living room listening to my parents talk
about politics.” I complained “There house is huge though, he probably got lost
trying to find his way to the living room. There’s like five floors not including the
attic or basement!” 
     “Whoa, I they must be rich.”Nikki said stunned “I’ve got to go, call me back as
soon as you get a chance after you see him.”
     “Ok, bye.” I flipped my phone shut and walked back into the living, sitting back
down in my seat. After three hours they were still talking and I started to doubt
that I would see the boy, oh well all I want to do now is leave. I am absolutely
terrified of china dolls and right in front of me there is about five of them, and I
swear their eyes follow me as I move. It’s creeping me out!!
     Suddenly we heard the front door open and close, then footsteps going up the
stairs. Doctor Kishu let out a deep sigh as another door was heard closing, quite
amazing how you can hear everything that goes on in a house this large.
     “Who was that?” I asked wanting to break the silence.
     “That was Blaise, the boy I adopted.” He said “he hardly ever leaves his room or
the study.”
     “He sounds boring.” I muttered earning a slap round the arm from dad and a
deathly glare from mum “just saying.”

‹Mad♥Hatter♥Love› says:   21 July 2008   883324  
I love it but itz a boy that is talking?
Mew_Emo_Chibi says:   21 July 2008   921949  
yes its hard to make it seem like its a boy wen im a girl lol
Mew_Emo_Chibi says :   21 July 2008   817748  
does anyone have any ideas on how i can make it seem  like its a boy


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