Friday, 20 June 2008
11:12:00 PM (GMT)
Lawl, another FanFic. Part one of two.
I'm a terrible writer, I spotted lots of mistakes on almost every fanfic I made. T_T
I'm catching the bad grammar/spelling disease! O_O
EDIT EDIT >8/:
Rawr! I was upset when 'broken heart' was actually a real condition. D:< Also known
as broken heart syndrome (because it can be caused by the death of a loved one or
something), takotsubo cardiomyopathy is when there is a sudden weakening of the
muscle of the heart.
So, erm, let's pretend that the kids think it's literally a broken heart, because
their parents themselves didn't know the real name. Or something.
Kyle wasn't at school for the whole week. His friends were getting worried.
"Dude, where's Kyle?" Stan asked his friends one recess.
"Yeah, probably sick," Cartman said.
"Dude, that's mean. We're going over there after school," said Stan angrily.
"Dude, take off the frickin' parka, I can't understand a word," said Stan.
"Thm hmph cmph ymph?"
"JUST DO IT!"
"Yeah, yeah," said Cartman. "Just do it, Kenneh."
Kenny pulled down the hood of his parka.
"Kenny! You look like a faggot!"
"Dude! He's better-looking than you!"
"Are you gay, Stan?" Cartman said.
"No! I actually had a girlfriend, fatass!"
"Had! HAD, Stan!" Cartman objected.
"You've never talked to a girl without insulting her, Cartman!" Kenny said.
"Change of subject," Stan said. "So, this afternoon? Kyle's house?"
"Ew, Jew's house!"
"Hey, you've been to his house tons of times!" Stan said.
"Yeah, and I regret them all!" said Cartman.
"Shut up," sighed Kenny.
After school ended, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny headed to Kyle's house.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Ike, Kyle's 3-year-old little brother, opened the door.
"Uh," Stan said. "Hi, Ike. Where's Kyle? He hasn't been to school for a week now.
"Hos...," said Ike.
"Huh?" said Kenny.
"Uh..," said Stan.
"Al," finished Ike.
"Hos. Pit. Al?" Stan repeated. He realized the word Ike said. "Oh, shit. Let's go,
you guys! Thanks, Ike!"
Cartman, Kenny, and Stan ran to the hospital.
"He's dying!" Ike yelled after them.
"Dude," panted Kenny when they arrived at the hospital.
"Excuse me," Cartman said politely to a nurse. "Do you know wear a Jewish boy wearing
an ushanka is?"
"Oh, yes," answered the nurse, pointing to a room.
"Thank you," Cartman said, walking towards the room. Kenny and Stan quickly
"Never knew you could be so nice," laughed Kenny.
"Ah, go fuck yourself," replied Cartman, opening the door.
It was such a sad scene. Kyle was dressed in hospital wear, and it looked like he
lost a million pounds. He was as pale as a ghost and it looked like nearly every
ounce of energy, almost every inch of life just disappeared.
Kyle slowly turned to his three friends.
"You guys?" he whispered.
Sheila and Gerald looked up at the three of them.
"Oh, thank you so much for being here! Kyle was begging for you three, but I couldn't
reach any of you," Sheila said, and it looked like she was on the verge of tears.
"All three of us?" Kenny echoed in an I-don't-believe-it voice.
"Yes. Eric, Stan, Kenny," Gerald answered.
"Cartman?" Kyle said.
Cartman turned to Kyle. "Yeah?"
"You know I've never hated you, right?"
"Yeah..I've never hated you, either," Cartman replied softly.
There was short pause, and at the same time, they screamed their usual insults.
The room was filled with unusual laughter.
"Well, we'll give you all some alone time," said Sheila, and she and Gerald left the
"Kyle, you're sick again," Cartman said.
"Thanks for pointing out the obvious," Kyle whispered hoarsely.
"I can't stand this," Stan said, biting his lip. He started walking towards the door,
but Kenny had a firm grip on his sleeve.
"Stan, you have no idea how much it hurt to have a friend who wasn't there when I
died, almost permanently," he said, looking at him with pain and anger in his eyes.
"Do you know what my last words were, Stan? Do you know?!"
"You know what?" Stan said. "Fuck you, Kenny! Fuck you! You don't know how hard it
was for me to watch you die!"
"Shut up!" Cartman said. "Kyle's dying and the last thing he would want to see if you
two fighting! Now I want to fight with Kyle, so let me, you fucking assholes!"
"Kyle is not going to die," Stan whispered softly to himself.
The two watched Kyle and Cartman fight, and they both seemed to be enjoying
"I'm interrupting now," Kenny said, walking in front of Cartman.
"'Ey!" Cartman said, quite angrily.
"Kyle, what..do you have?" Kenny asked.
"They don't know," Kyle said.
"What?!" exclaimed Stan. "How are they supposed to fucking treat you if they don't
know what you have!"
"I don't know," whispered Kyle.
Suddenly Sheila and Gerald entered the room.
"We're leaving soon, Kyle."
Kyle turned to his parents. "Why?" he asked, and everyone but Kyle himself twitched,
and anyone could tell they were in just as much pain as Kyle.
"We're going to San Francisco, where Dr. Doctor told us to go to find the cure for
Kyle's sickness. And it's not contagious," answered Gerald.
"B-but you can't go! W-what if.." Stan gulped. The words he wanted to say refused to
"What if Kyle dies in San Francisco?" Kenny said, with no emotion on his face.
Why could Kenny say everything he wanted to, but I have loads of trouble doing so?
"Then..I don't know," Gerald said.
"Then they're going to have a funeral back here in South Park," answered Kyle
"Can you walk, Kyle?" Stan asked.
"I can sure try, Stan."
The next day, every friend of the Broflovkis were at the airport, saying good-bye.
Kyle approached Cartman, Kenny, and Stan.
"Bye, you guys," he said softly.
"You know what? Hug him," Kenny said, and they all hugged him.
"Group hug with a Jew! Gross!" Cartman said. "This is so gay!"
"Shut up, fatass," Stan said, grinning.
Cartman didn't speak.
"Kyle, come on!" yelled Sheila, holding Ike in her arms.
"Yeah, Kyle!" said Gerald, who was carrying all the luggages and suitcases.
The three stopped hugging Kyle, and he, with all the energy he could muster, walked
with his family up the plane.
"Are you crying, Cartman?" Kenny said.
"What?! No! It's my fucking allergies," said Cartman.
Stan sighed. "See you later, Kyle."
Last edited: 30 August 2008