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This diary entry is written by Kablammo_Dude. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: A strange combination of beliefs in category (general)

This morningCategory: (general)
Monday, 19 September 2011
11:19:21 AM (GMT)
I am starting to get a stomach virus, probably the one Jesse had.
Hmm I wonder why?!?
The bad thing is, I don't think I care.
This just means that I don't have to eat for the next few days.
It doesn't sound that great, but I don't mind.
I mean, I like eating.
Too much, in my opinion.
But lately, eating makes me feel....
So full it makes me sick.
Or want to get sick.
It's not that common for guys to have eating disorders, I don't think. 
I don't remember ever meeting any guys like that, but I'm sure they are out there.
Anyway, I don't know.
I'm just tired of looking the way I do, and not feeling happy about what I see in the
Deep down, I know I will always be critical of myself, but if I wasn't overweight at
all, I would have less reasons to be so harsh.
I want to be healthy.
I want to feel good about myself.
I will force myself to eat, at least a little, because it wouldn't be good to just
stop eating.
And I don't let go of habits too well sometimes.
It's just going to take a lot of exercise.
I've never been skinny.
Well, not since like 2nd grade.
It's going to be a strange thing.
I want to know what it feels like.
These next few days will be okay, I think.
Maybe not eating will help me shed a couple pounds or something.
I don't seem to be losing much weight, but I seem to be losing fat, and gaining
muscle, so I guess I shouldn't weigh myself much.
I just wish I wasn't fat.
It will happen.
It's going to take a lot of work.
On the bright side, I've already lost 60.
What's another 40, eh?

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