Sunday, 6 February 2011
09:29:18 PM (GMT)
Dear Mr Roles;
You know I love you rather a lot,
And have done for the past four years.
You know I cannot live without you and do not want to lose you.
However, I would like my penguin back.
It has been in your possession,
On your windowsill,
For almost three months, and I have decided that enough is enough.
Just because your nickname is 'penguin',
and you are my penguin, (because once penguins find a mate they stay with
them for the rest of their lives)
and I shoved the damn thing down your shirt,
Does not mean that it is your penguin.
So maybe, this penguin is only about 7cm high.
MAYBE, it cost me £1.50 from a themepark.
But still, it's pretty special to me,
because it reminds me of you.
And because you've had it for so long,
i'm pretty sure it would smell of you too.
So yeah, i love you lots and lots,
but i would appreciate it if you didn't nick my possessions.
Ps; Please may i also have my headphones and my phone sock returned to me?
I know I left them at karate and i'm very grateful for you finding them,
but they've been missing for quite some time and you didn't even have the decency to
point out that i'd forgotten them.