Monday, 21 June 2010
04:20:48 AM (GMT)
Here we go again, spilling out the feelings.
Dear once-so called best friend,
Honestly, I doubt you’ll even read this, but I hope you do… And when & if you do,
don’t talk to me about it; you’ve had your chance. So many chances… Every time
I tried calling you, I always wanted to speak up about it. Once I actually did get a
hold of you, I was too much of in a good mood to let it die. I have so much to say to
you and there are so many things that bother me about you. It’s sad too, because
I’m not the only who notices all these things.
You seem to be brainwashed. You never want to talk. You’ve changed… You have been
changing for the past year or so. I’ll ask if you want to hangout and you’ll tell
me yeah and to wait…and you’ll call me back… But guess what, you never call
back like you say you will. I know you don’t want to be friends anymore, but I wish
you could just be straight forward with me.
I don’t trust you anymore, not a single bit. It hurts to say… It also hurts to
say that you hurt me. I wonder if it’s because I’m a year older than you or what.
I wonder what the fuck I ever did to you to get knocked down to the ground. And if
you do read this, you may think “Oh, she just wants attention.” No, not at
all… But I can say this, when you do decide to be my friend again, you will never
get the trust from me ever again. You will never see the normal side to me again; I
will be pretty antsy to get away from you though.
Every single day, I think about you, dear about how much I miss you, and wish the
memories would come back to life. I miss the old you… I can actually think of two
other people who miss it too. I’m not alone to think that you are changing.
Honestly, I feel completely guilty, and I’ve been so down in the dump, wishing to
cut… but I’m better than that. I will live on without you.
It's sad, we've been friends for... 4 years, going on 5 years?
Remember when we had plans to move out together? Get a house and party as much as we
wanted? Remember when we planned on making a babysitting job together? Remember all
the laughs and the shit we talked about? Remember when we would walk around all
around town all the time in the summer? What happened to us, did I complain too much?
I know you think of me as a slut already… most people do. I hate myself for it, but
I will change. And for you thinking I am, all I have to say is, suck it.
We will NEVER be the same. Again, I don’t want to hear from you, ever. And
actually, don’t come back wanting to be friends. Childish or not of me, I do have
feelings… And you do hurt them horrible. More than any guy could… Why more than a
guy? Because I thought you were my best friend… Someone I could always count on to
be there when I needed you the most… But you never are… I still love and care for
you, but I’m sorry… I can’t be your friend or whatever the fuck you think of me
as, not anymore. You will never see me the same. I don’t believe I ever did
anything to you… If I did, at least tell me, and then go the fuck away…
Again, I’m sorry… But I am sick and tired of this, and I’m done.
You know who…
Last edited: 21 June 2010