Thursday, 11 February 2010
01:36:26 PM (GMT)
i spent all of today just kind of staring at shit. i probably failed my two tests
because i couldn't keep my thoughts on what they should have been on. i'd read a
sentence, only instead of hearing my voice think the words that were on the paper, i
read to myself things you've said to me. and i saw pictures from that day, when we
were being sappy and traded photobucket pictures. and then during the break i'd sit
against the lockers with astrid and just pour my heart out. i almost cried. actually
she almost cried too. i know ten days isn't really long, relatively, but emotionally
it is, at least for me. i'm used to speaking with you every night, or almost every
night. and i honestly believe you're magical. there are times when i don't even have
to talk to anyone about something that's bothering me because just talking to you
makes it alright, no matter what we end up talking about. though the whole 'u maek
meh feel bettar' is cliché, and it's not like that. it's more not necessarily that
you make my worries dissapear, but more that you give me insight on the fact that
there are more important things, that i shouldn't worry about those little everyday
troubles. and thinking about you makes me smile. i get asked a lot what i see in you.
why i love you. and i find it really hard to pinpoint that. because i don't know
exactly why i feel the way i do. i think it's a mixture of aspects of your
personality, and just how my brain tells my mouth to smile at your words and my
stomach to do flips. and whenever i say 'i love you', i swear i mean it, with all my
heart. actually the words i love you don't capture the true roots of my feelings.
loli. a lot of people, especially adults, don't think that teenagers know what
they're talking about when it comes to 'love'. but i think we do. and also you're not
exactly teenager anymore but you know what i mean.
if i could say what i want to say,
i'd say i want to blow you away.
it doesn't matter what i say,
so long as i sing with inflection.
that makes you feel that i'll convey
some inner truth of vast reflection.
but i've said nothing so far
and i can keep it up as long as it takes.
see you on the twentieth.