Saturday, 6 February 2010
11:34:04 AM (GMT)
The first time I saw you was on Seminar Day in August of 2008. I couldn’t keep my
eyes off of you.
The first time we spoke was on MSN. I started the conversation by saying “LOL!! oh,
oops! wrong convo! D:”. Now when I look back I feel like such an idiot.
The first time we said hi in person was quite embarrassing and confronting. After
numerous times of trying to wave at you or say hi, I finally got into your face and
said “HI!”. You looked at me like a retard. Still, you said hi back.
The first time you initiated a conversation with me on MSN was in January of 2009. My
new years resolution was to wait till you spoke to me first and not be tempted to
talk to you. You eventually spoke to me. I still recall what I felt when I saw your
name flash on my toolbar. I couldn’t breathe.
The first time you made me think you actually cared was when I told you how I felt.
This was near the end of 2009. One night, I just decided to do it. I don’t know
where I got the courage from, but I did it; I told you how much I liked you. I guess
my friends were all there to support me. I still don’t know where I’d be without
them. They’re the words I find when I’m speechless.
You told me that we were friends and that if I needed someone to talk to, you’d be
there. You also told me that you didn’t feel the same. I knew this all along, but
still the realization hurt like hell.
The first time you smiled at me was at school- the day after I confessed to you. I
can’t explain what I felt when I saw you smile at me like that. It was like my
whole body melted and I couldn’t even recognize where I was or what I was doing.
All I saw was you.
The first time we actually had a conversation irl was at a part in September of last
year. It was the first time I heard you say my name. We arm wrestled. As lame as this
sounds, it meant so much to me.
The first time I was ready to move on was when I asked you to block me on MSN. I
didn’t have the courage to do it myself and when you did block me, I felt as if
that was the moment I was going to move on from you.
The first time I realized I really hadn’t moved on from you at all was in the early
days of the New Year. After months of not interacting at all, I saw you at the shops
near my house. You waved at me. My heart was racing so fast.
The first time I fell for you was one and a half years ago and I’m still