Friday, 20 November 2009
01:46:45 AM (GMT)
Wednesday when I found out you weren't at school my heart dropped. The day seemed to
take longer, it felt empty. But this morning when I saw you I couldn't help but
smile. I felt like my day was going to go great. I was such a fool. I heard
you say that you were gone yesterday because you had court and I heard you when you
said that you got 31 days in jail starting Friday. But I guess it just didn't
register till now. Tomorrows Friday. You're going to be gone....for 31 days....thats
1 month. You're not going to be there in the morning at school to talk to. You're not
going to be in World Geography class to make things fun. You're not going to be there
to write the little notes in my planner and in my locker like you do every day.
You're not going to be in the halls, or in the lunch room. You're not going to be
there to walk to 8th hour with. If I'm having a bad day or I'm upset you're not going
to be there to run too. If I have a problem or just need to talk things over you're
not going to be there. My best friend....my love....won't be there.
I'm sorry it took me so long to realize you're not going to be back.
That today was the last day for a while that we could of hang out, and spent our last
day as friends instead of in a fight like we did. I'm truly sorry I don't want you to
leave like this. 31 days may not seem like that long but for me its a life time. I
don't want you to leave hating me. I can't take it, it isn't right. James, I do love
you and I don't want you to leave, but I know saying that wont help. I don't know how
I'm going to go through a whole month without you. I hate being so insecure but with
you it seems ok. I can't even imagine how this next month is going to go. I already
feel empty and depressed and its not even day one. I'm so upset, I just can't believe
this. I don't understand why we even got in that fight. I can't have you mad at me
and just leave. I wont let you leave like that. Babe, I am truly sorry. But when your
gone don't forget that your always on my mind and I'll never stop thinking about you.
And don't stop thinking about me either. I love you.
Last edited: 31 January 2010