Monday, 5 October 2009
03:34:10 AM (GMT)
What the hell is this? I'm writing diaries just for the sake of writing them. Oh no
what if I'm becoming a social-networking cliche?! *gasp*
Here are some really weird (and long) dreams I've been trying to turn into stories:
Please comment/crit/whatever, even if it's just to say "omg why are you so
Dream #1: The Station
I am a girl, and I'm on a train. There are others here, but I only hear them. The
cabin is completely dark, I look outside the window and see more darkness. If there's
scenery outside, I don't know about it. The train slows and the door somewhere close
by opens. Light pours in, but somehow the train is still dark. This darkness isn't
just the absence of light. This darkness has it's own substance. Somehow I know I'm
supposed to get off. At first, I can't see anything. Outside the train it's
unbearably bright, and I stumble and fall on what feels like concrete. I'm dizzy and
lying on the ground, but my eyes are adjusting and I can see that the sky is bright
blue and filled with sunlight. Except that I can't actually see the sun anywhere,
despite the sky being cloudless. Strange, but I don't think about it too much because
someone is helping me up. It's a boy, with a sullen-looking face and messy hair. I'm
unsteady on my feet, but at least I'm standing, so I take a look around.
It's a train platform, except that it's floating in the sky. I walk to the edge of
the platform and look down. Pure blue sky is all I see, the ground doesn't exist in
this world, and the sense of vertigo is enough to almost make me fall again. The boy
pulls me away from the edge and leads me along a floating path to a small floating
island with a small village in the center. He's very quiet, and only says a few
things to me. "Do you remember your name?" Somehow, I don't remember. How very
cliche, I think to myself, but despite my jokes I feel scared. Normal, healthy people
don't forget their names. "Don't worry about. Names aren't that important here." He
tries to reassure me.
The village is filled with people like me. People who were on the train, but got off
here not remembering who they are. Everyone is here, trying to remember who they are
and trying to pass the time. "The island is dead. The people here are dead. There's
no past or future here. There's a present, but without a past and future that's
meaningless as well."he tells me. The sky darkens, and I go to sleep in one of the
houses. When I wake up, I try to find the boy. He's at the station, sitting on the
ledge and staring off into sky. There are clouds today. He sits here everyday,
waiting to see if the train comes back. He wants to leave this place. I sit beside
him and we talk about things. We talk about how we remember words, and meanings, and
what things are. We talk about how we don't remember names and families and friends.
He talks about how he thinks this place is a purgatory. "Maybe we died, and we have
to atone here first." he says. Everyday we do this. I wake up, I find him at the
station, and we talk.
One day, the train comes back. Even it's exterior is black. Black sheets of metal
with black bolts and black bars and black smoke rising from the front car.It stops at
the station and the doors open into blackness. But no one comes out. We wait a few
seconds, but the train stays. Someone is meant to go in. The boy steps forward and
tries to enter the train, but the train won't let any part of his body cross the
threshold. He is frustrated. He yells and punches the train, but eventually calms
down and sits on the ground hugging his knees. I feel sorry for him, because the same
way I know I had to leave the train, I know I have to get on it. I reach forward and
my hand passes the threshold. I watch my arm disappear completely into darkness, and
reappear as I pull it back.
Should I get on the train? The boy looks up with a sad expression on his face. "What
if it takes you to hell?" I don't know. I'll only find out if I get on. "You know you
only get this one chance to get on, right?" I don't know how I know, but I know that.
"Don't make the same mistake as me. If you can leave, you should leave." He looks up
at me with a complicated expression on his face. He's smiling painfully, and in his
eyes I see confusion and sadness and even hate. I look back at the train, with it's
doors wide open into the darkness.
I don't know what to do.
Dream #2: A lesson on dying
She's very kind to me. She's patient and waits and talks to me while I shiver and
yell and cry. "You don't have to do this.", she tells me. She says that, but I
want to. And for me that's the same thing as having to do it. I'm scared, I
tell her. I'm scared. "It's okay. We'll take as much time as you need."
It's nighttime and we're at the docks. I'm waist high in water while she patiently
sits on a boat in the water. I'm pacing back and forth nervously. I don't want to do
this...but I kind of want to. Do I really have to? I'm afraid because it'll hurt.
Won't it hurt alot? "Just as pain is a part of life, pain is a part of death." Won't
I start to panic and hurt and then it won't work? I won't stay under. I'm scared,
but also ashamed at my own cowardliness. I start to cry. She jumps off the boat and
wades over to me and hugs me. "Hush. We'll do this slowly, okay? No one's forcing
you. No one's forcing you." She's telling the truth but I'm sobbing anyways.
After a while I've calmed down. I'm shaking, trembling. I hold her hand to reassure
myself. You'll stay with me, right? "Of course. I'll stay with you all the way
through. All the way to the last moment, I'll be right there beside you." I brush
away the last of my tears. Okay, I'm ready. I say that, but I don't feel ready. I'm
still shaking, and I can't tell if it's fear or the coldness of the water. I start to
walk forward, and then both of us swim down into the dark water. We swim underwater
until we're about 5 meters down. I can barely see her silhouette, but I guess I don't
need to, because I'm holding her hand. She takes my other hand in her free hand and
we float like that for a little while. Face to face.
Then I run out of air. I start to panic, but she pulls me into an embrace. She hugs
me close and I hug her back. It's painful, a deep burning in my lungs and throat.
It's terrifying. But she's with me, so I can bear it.
And I die.
I slowly wake up and sit up. How strange, I'm completely dry now. I rub my eyes open.
"Congratulations! See, I knew you could do it." She smiles at me and helps me stand
up. I hug her tightly for a moment before letting her free again. Thank you, I
mumble. "Not at all. See? Your corpse is over there." And there it is, floating face
down in the water and bobbing gently with the waves.
Yeah, my dreams are super super weird. I took some slight liberties with dialogue,
but besides that everything is pretty much how it happened in my dreams. Please
please comment. Probably no one will, but it makes me stupidly happy when people do