Saturday, 3 January 2009
09:50:58 PM (GMT)
Once upon a time, in a horrible land where everybody was boring and didn’t like
loud music, there lived a young pony named Derek. Derek wasn’t like all the other
ponies. He liked to wear his hair all crazy while everybody else just wore it
regular. Not to mention that he liked to stay up late and look at the stars when
everybody else was asleep. No, Derek was nothing like the other ponies. But he
didn’t mind because he knew that one day he would escape this horrible land and
find a place where the stars smiled at him and the flowers were rainbow colored.
Derek was sitting out by the pond, which unfortunately didn’t sparkle like a
thousand vampires, when two more ponies came up. They were like all the other ponies,
boring and slightly creepy in Derek’s opinion. There names were Ashley and Joey.
“Hello Derek” They said at the same time.
“Hey,” Said Derek.
“You did not say ‘hello’.” Ashley said
“So? What if I didn’t?” asked Derek.
“You used a contraction. You know you are not allowed to use contractions.” Joey
“I said SO!” Derek yelled.
Ashley and Joey gasped.
“You know that you are not allowed to speak in all capital letters or use
exclamation marks.” scolded both Ashley and Joey at the same time. Derek just
rolled his eyes, which made them gasp again. You weren’t suppose to roll your eyes
either. Derek got up and trotted home. When he got home he went upstairs to his
bedroom and put on some loud music. Then he jumped around, dancing.
“Derek.” His mother called from downstairs. But he didn’t hear her because his
music was too loud and she wasn’t allowed to yell. Yelling was against the rules.
So she came upstairs and knocked on his door.
“Derek.” She said again. This time Derek heard her so he turned down his music
and opened the door.
“What?” He asked.
“You know that you are not allowed to listen to such evil music. Please turn it
off.” She told him.
Derek wanted to say no but he knew that either way she would get her way. So he
turned off his music and sat down on his bed.
“That’s better.” And she left.
Derek sighed and went into the bathroom connected to his bedroom. He got into his
secret compartment and got out his sacred black eyeliner. He put it on really thick
then messed up his hair and styled it so that his bangs went over half of his face.
Then he put a stripe of purple in his hair. After that he snuck out of the house and
went over to a hill that overlooked the fence that separated this place from
Derek stared at it for a long time. He always did this. But he never did anything.
Tonight was different! Derek stood up and put his hoofs on his hips.
“Tonight I’m going to run away!”
And then he did.
Derek ran for a long time. Finally he got to the fence and jumped over it in a single
bound. The minute he was over the fence he felt different. He looked up and smiled at
the stars. They didn’t smile back, but he knew that that was just because he
wasn’t in the right place yet. Soon he got very sleepy and crawled up into a tree
and went to sleep.
The next morning Derek felt like a new pony. He got up and ran around the tree,
feeling like a he had new energy. On his last time around the tree he spotted a
little butterfly floating through the sky. Since he was in such a good mood he went
galloping over to the butterfly.
“Hello butterfly!” He yelled (he could yell all he wanted now!)
The butterfly turned around dramatically. Coming out of it’s mouth were two huge
fangs dripping with butterfly venom (which is the worst type of venom around ya know)
Derek screamed like a girl and went running the other way. The evil butterfly flew
after him, hissing all the way.
“BAD BUTTERFLY! Baaaaadddddddd buggy!” Derek yelled as he ran into a patch of
wild carrots. The butterfly stopped and flew the other way really quickly. At first
he thought that HE had scared it off, but then he looked behind him to see a GIANT
MARSHMELLOW CHICKEN DRIPPING WITH COCO!
That was a really bad thing because everybody knows that Marshmellow Chickens don’t
like coco. It gave a giant roar and came lumbering after Derek. While it was running
it tripped on a bug and landed on Derek with a SPLAT!
“Ewwww!” said Derek, “I’m covered in marshmallow!” He got up and walked
gloomly over to a pond. He jumped into the pond and washed all the marshmallow off
himself. He soon fell asleep.
The next day he traveled a long way. He was about to give up hope when in the
distance he heard singing. It was the good kind of singing, like on How The Grinch
Stole Christmas when all the Whos were holding hands around the Christmas tree. He
sped up and jumped over another fence. The first thing he saw was a pond that
sparkled like a million vampires. There were rainbow colored flowers all along the
pond that were singing. The butterflies here wore eyeliner and the marshmallow
chickens tossed glitter around. There was a group of Robot Pirate Ninjas rocking out
to loud music and jumping around all they wanted. He looked up in the sky and a star
winked at him. At that moment Derek knew that this was where he belonged. With new
hope burning inside him, he flew into the sky and over a rainbow, which did in fact
taste like skittles. When he got down to the ground again he poked a few rabbits in
the tummy and giggled with them like the Pillsbury dough boy. Suddenly, an octopus
flew out of the water and Derek jumped onto it and road into the sunset.