Friday, 28 November 2008
04:43:55 AM (GMT)
This is strange.
Alyssha normally never feels this way about things, and is in such a shocked state
she doesn't know what to do with her emotions. Whether to cry, or scream.
Alyssha had only been dating her for what? Two weeks or so? And then a holiday break
up. It's happened before, Alyssha was okay then, but why does it hurt now when it
never mattered so much before?
Alyssha is confused with her own mind. She's mad at it. Alyssha doesn't like crying,
but she feels like she needs to cry. Like Collene actually meant something to her.
How can people mean something to you when you've only known them a month or two?
Alyssha is afraid her heart may have broken again. Or at least the band-aid that held
it together from when her mother died, is slowly peeling off. And you should know,
peeling off band-aids can hurt. Alyssha's twin is worried too, because this is
strange and very very irregular.
Alyssha doesn't mean to sound cruel when she says it normally doesn't matter, nor
affect her too much. She simply means that she doesn't get her heart broken easily.
But Collene did something, and now Alyssha is mad at Collene and her own head and
emotions. Why is Alyssha crying?
This isn't fair for Alyssha, in fact, this is a completely cruel action! To give her
reactions she's never had before! She doesn't know HOW to act. And so at the moment
because of total emotional overload (something Alyssha- unlike most females- has
never experienced) she is admitting to actually crying.
Why would anyone feel this way? It isn't fair. Who gave us these damned feelings
that fuck us up so badly? And why on earth did someone make Alyssha go through it?
Pardon, Alyssha may scream at the wall in a moment and throw things at it.
Like it did anything to her.
Alyssha is getting her feelings under control again- although she is still confused
and crying. Madison (the best twin ever) got her hot chocolate and a movie.
Maybe Alyssha will be okay.
But it still isn't fair.