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This diary entry is written by the_psalms_of_matt. ( View all entries )
 
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i lost control of my mind...Category: (general)
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
03:12:46 AM (GMT)
how do i numb the dull pain of fear slicing through my each and every thought
the thoughts of the worse possible outcomes...
everyday holds its own problems but mine seem to pile up and up untill the week
colapses bring down the months then the year making my life tourtuous for the simple
reason that i cant control my thoughts anymore...
im going crazy letting my mind sway in and out of purgatory 
touching the gates of hell and wanting the bliss of heaven...
why must it be so damn impossible for me to see what i truely believe?...
we can predict the impossible but never the improbable...
its improbable for me to go on with my own knife in my back...
i cant trust myself anymore...im crazy...
insane...
disturbed...
derenged...
fucked up...

all of the above
i cant get her out of my mind anymore...
i think of her non stop...i day dream about a perfect world where we can be accepted
and itll be easy...
its never easy...
love is our own worse enemy...
i cant stand to not know if youre ok or if your curled up on your bed crying...
i let my mind think the worse 
and let my body feel the pain i create...
if you read this...help me...
im trapped in my deranged mind and i cant get myself out...

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