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Life is. . . interestingCategory: (general)
Thursday, 1 September 2011
12:23:29 AM (GMT)
What a crazy world we live in.
I just had the most amazing night of my life, but why?
Was it because I got to spend the night with my girlfriend for the first time?
Was it because I took oxys?
Was it because I had beer?
Was it because we watched the Big Bang Theory?
Was it because we had amazing food?
I wish I could answer that question, but my best guess is that it is a combination of
After she leaves, I feel blank, empty, lost...
Every moment spent with her is absolutely amazing.
I feel happy, content.
I don't worry.
She is safe in my arms, I know nobody can hurt her.
I freaked out yesterday, and I feel like a complete dick because of it.
She was just hanging out with someone, but my brain assumed the worst.
I thought she was growing tired of me, the same old story.
That she was finding someone knew, someone that understood her but didn't obsess.
I thought that this guy was going to hurt her, rape her, or worse...
I paced back and forth, I lost control of my mind.
I punched things, I threw things, I acted like a little kid...
I brought myself to the point of insanity, I held a knife to my arm, ready to do
anything to stop the thoughts.
I left before I cut, I couldn't break my promise to her.
So I left.
I drove to find her.
I fucking lost my mind.
Why must I do things to myself.
I know I seem like an asshole, like I don't trust her.
I trust her.
I really do.
I don't trust other people, especially guys.
I know that she has sense enough to stay away from the bad ones, but you can't tell
who someone is all of the time.
If anything happened to her, I really would lose it.
I have pity for anyone in my path if that day ever comes...
But I will try.
I will do my best to stop worrying, to stop freaking out.
I will calm down, let everything happen, trust her judgement.
She will never lie to me, or cheat on me.
and I would never do that to her.
We have a long life ahead of us, and I will look forward to it.
We are going to have kids, and we have a pretty good idea of what they will look and
be like.
We will see what happens.
I know that I don't need drugs to be happy, but they are pretty amazing.
I have gotten past the point in my life where I thought I couldn't be normal without
chemicals and plants, but I still have an addiction.
I can't be happy without her.
I need to accept that.
Some things we can work past, but this isn't one of them.
If I have her, life is perfect.
If I lose her, life is over.
Sound like the ramblings of a crazy man?
Probably so.
We all have our problems, our addictions, our reasons for living.
She is the one thing in my life that makes it worth living.
And I intend on holding on to her with everything I have, for as much time as we are
This is an interesting world we live in, and a truly amazing life, but without the
things we love, it might not be worth living.
Our souls are one now, and we are in this together.
In life
in death

broken_into_hearts says:   1 September 2011   736119  
finally a guy who would stop everything for his gf! good job keep
going strong!
Kablammo_Dude says :   1 September 2011   449306  
She is worth everything, and I will do my best to be the man she

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