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A letter to sarahCategory: (general)
Monday, 16 May 2011
01:28:28 AM (GMT)
Dear Sarah,

I dont really know how to tell you this, but your a pervert. I think i realized it
when we skinny dipped under a state of trance, and i saw you sit on Donald Duck. Im
sure you're ashamed enough to understand that i get turned on by garbage men. Im
returning your love letters to you, but ill keep your photo as a memory. You should
also know that i get sick when i think of our friendship. 

Go and drown yourself. 

Sincerely,
Ashlea 

How To Do This:

Dear [The Last Person To Comment On Your Latest Journal Entry],

I don't really know how to tell you this, but [One]. I think I realized it
[Two] [Three] and I saw you [Four] [Five]. I'm sure you're [Six] enough to
understand
[Seven]. I'm returning [Eight] to you, but I'll keep [Nine] as a memory. You should
also know that I [Ten] [Eleven] .

[Twelve],
[Your Name]


One: What is the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over.
Red - Our affair is over.
White - I'll join the monastery.
Black - I dislike you.
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match.
Grey - You're a pervert.
Yellow - I'm selling myself.
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting.
Brown - The mafia wants you.
Shirtless - You're a loser.
Other - I'm in love with your sister.

Two: Which is your birth month?
January - That night.
February - Last year.
March - When your dwarf bit me.
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds.
May - The first of May.
June - When you put cuffs on me.
July - When I threw up.
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped.
October - When I quoted Santa.
November - When your dog ran wild.
December - When I changed tennis shoes.

Three: Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment.
Pizza - In your RV.
Pasta - Outside of Chicago.
Hamburgers - Under the bus.
Salad - As you ate enchilada.
Chicken - In your closet.
Kabob - With Paris Hilton.
Fish - In women's clothing.
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation.
Lasagna - At the mental hospital.
Hot dog - Under a state of trance.
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife.

Four: What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on.
Red - Insult.
Black - Ignore.
Blue - Knock out.
Purple - Pour syrup on.
White - Carve your initials into.
Grey - Pull the clothes off.
Brown - Put leeches on.
Orange - Scratch.
Pink - Pull the toupee off.
Barefoot - Sit on.
Other - Drive out.

Five: What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend.
White - My father.
Grey - Bill Clinton.
Brown - My fart balloon.
Purple - My mustard soufflé.
Red - Donald Duck.
Blue - My avocado plant.
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana.
Orange - My Kid Rock collection.
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper.
None - My John F. Kennedy statue.
Other - The crazy monk.

Six: What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man.
O.C. - Emotional.
One Tree Hill - Open.
Heroes - Frostbitten.
Lost - High.
House - Scarred.
Simpsons - Cowardly.
The News - Mongolic.
Idol - Masochistic.
Family Guy - Senile.
Top Model - Middle-Class.
None of the above - Ashamed.

Seven: Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt.
Sad - How boring you are.
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist.
Angry - That your pimples are huge.
Depressed - That we're cousins.
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east.
Worried - That your Honda sucks.
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster.
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men.
Excited - That I'm open.
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks.

Eight: What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring.
Yellow - Your love letters.
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster.
Black - Your tame stone.
Blue - The couch cushions.
Green - The pictures from LA.
Orange - Your false teeth.
Brown - Your contact book.
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs.
Purple - Your old lottery coupons.
Pink - The cut toenails.
Other - Your memories from the military service.

Nine: The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo.
C/D - The oil stocks.
E/F - Your neighbor Martin.
G/H - My virginity.
I/J - The results of your blood-sample.
K/L - Your left ear.
M/N - Your suicide note.
O/P - My common sense.
Q/R - Your mom.
S/T - Your collection of butterflies.
U/V - Your criminal record.
W/X - David's tricot outfits.
Y/Z - Your grades from college.

Ten: The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember.
C/D - Never will forget.
E/F - Always wanted to break.
G/H - Never openly mocked.
I/J - Always have felt dirty before.
K/L - Will tell the authorities about.
M/N - Told in my confession today about.
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about.
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about.
S/T - Get sick when I think of.
U/V - Always will try to forget.
W/X - Am better off without.
Y/Z - Never liked.


Eleven: What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship.
Beer - Senility.
Soft drink - A new life as a clone.
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo.
Milk - The apartment building.
Wine - Cocaine abuse.
Cider - A passionate interest for mice.
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations.
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash.
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism.
Whisky - To ruin the second world war.
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics.


Twelve: To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards.
USA - Best regards.
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail.
Spain - Go and drown yourself.
China - Disgusting regards.
Germany - With ease.
Japan - Go burn.
Greece - Your everlasting enemy.
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard.
Egypt - Fuck off now.
France - In pain.
Other - Greetings to your freaky family.
Last edited: 16 May 2011

Comments 
‹Cowards•Are•Golden› says:   16 May 2011   727242  
Oh dear. You found out my secret. :[
I'm ashamed of myself. And you, apparently.
 
‹<3OurGODisLOVE!!<3› says :   16 May 2011   381165  
8D hahahahahahahhahaha!!!!! THis made me laugh forever.
 
 
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