Monday, 24 January 2011
02:13:22 AM (GMT)
How any of this could happen. He was so strong. He was the last person any of us
would have expected this to happen to. I just don't understand. Why him? Why now? Why
couldn't it have been any other time with any other person? I love him, we all do.
And he's being taken away from us. It hurts. How will we make it without him? We
can't. I know we can't. It just doesn't make sense. He was doing so well. He could
understand that we were there, talking to him, and he could squeeze my hand. He could
squeeze my frickin' hand. And then he got worse. Now he can barely keep his eyes
open, and if he does survive, he will not be able to walk. He'd hate that. He'd
rather die than have us take care of him. And I know he won't make it, but it doesn't
make it hurt less. All I have is the ring she gave me. I put it on that chain I
always wear. I'm never taking it off. Screw my class ring or that ring Chels gave me.
I'll get a new chain for them. This one's just for his ring.
He's my hero, my bestfriend. He was supposed to walk me down the aisle, for God's
sake. He won't even be around to see my wedding. He won't see me have kids. He won't
get to go on walks with me, or go to church with me, or pick me up for school when I
can't drive. I won't get to hear his stories or talk to him about things that don't
matter to anyone else but us. He'll never tell me goodnight, or to take my meds, or
ask me when I need to be woken up in the morning...ever again. He'll never be able to
tell me he loves me. And the worst part is?
I can't even say goodbye to him.