Friday, 25 September 2009
05:54:25 AM (GMT)
Yesterday marked the first meeting of the group I have formed - C.R.A.P (Cyborgs &
Robots Against Prejudice). I demanded we fight the local council over their new
anti-robots on bus rules. Everything was going fine until the Robot in Charge of
Making Balls Bounce asked why a Robot of Doom, who has the ability to fly at speeds
of up to 200 mph, would want to use public transport anyway. I told him it was the
principle of the matter. "You are supposed to be striking fear into their miserable
hearts" he demanded, "Not enjoying excursions out with them!"
After finally restoring order I moved the meeting onto the next point of order -
destroying the boy who likes Coldplay. Many of the robots seemed mystified as to why
this was even being discussed until finally The Robot in Charge of Everything decided
that we should just concentrate on destroying Coldplay instead. Their reasons for
this were that it would gain more exposure and demand more respect for robots and
also have the added bonus of no more new songs showcasing Chris Martins whiny bloody
voice. The other robots agreed and they left for the nearest drinking establishment
to plan their attack.
The least successful meeting I have held since that party I threw where only a
dachshund showed up.