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Story Outline. Feedback requested!Category: (general)
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
09:51:30 PM (GMT)
I'm supposed to write a musical for music class and figured putting the story
outline on kupika whpould make getting feedback and constructive critizism easier. So
I'm putting the basic plot below.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The setting is a suburban elemenary school in north eastern United states. 
    The main charactor is named Vince Allen, but his last name is pronounced "Illin"
and his nick-name is Vi. He gets mocked because his name is Vi-Illin (it sounds like
the word "villain".) Vi is a typical looking caucasian boy, but acts very odd. He has
a close freindship with a boy named Dan. Dan  flits from one female intrest to
another and asks Vi which girl he likes. Honestly Vi has never seen a girl that way
but points out Angie, a kind, shy girl. Dan and Vi search for a way to get Angie to
like Vi.
    Meanwhile a witty, funny, cocky, out going, athletic Japanese- American boy moves
into town. People feel sorry for Hiro because his father is gone but like him because
he seems so nice. Hiro and Villain become enemies. (Don't worry, I did the name thing
on purpose.)
    While Hiro and Vi fight over Angies afections (neither of them really see her in
that way) another boy enters their class. Thomas switched schools because he was
being picked on, and quickly befriends Angie. Thomas doesn't have any guy freinds and
is a bit on the femine side. He helps Angie put her hair up with ribbons that he had
in his backpack. Thomas doesn't understand an odd feeling he gets when he's around
Vi, but eventually he realizes he must have a crush on him. Thomas wonders if two
boys being in love was possible? Could he ask someone? Eventually he consults with
his good friend Angie.
    Angie is afraid of Vi, and likes Hiro and talks to her mom about them often. She
didn't think there'd be anything wrong with asking her about Thomas's problem. But
Angie's father overhears and forbids Angie from playing with him anymore. Angie has
to communicate with Thomas through breif whispers out of sight and notes or else the
teacher will see and tell her father.
    with Angies guidence and Dans support Vi "realizes" why he doesn't like girls. He
decides that he's to young. (Vi doesn't realize that boys being in love with other
boys is possible either). When he stops pestering Angie they become friends, and
because of that Vi and Thomas start spending more time together.
     One day Vi, Thomas, Angie, and Dan were planning to meet by the road to the
playground. (They wanted to walk to Dans house) Thomas got there first and waited by
the edge of the road. Vi was in the bushes, because he wanted to surprise Thomas when
he jumped out. Thomas was wearing one of his pink shirts and french braiding ribbons
into his own relatively short hair. Before Vi could jump out a pick-up truck with two
big men drove by. In the car Vi noticed the one driving looked a bit like Hiro. The
other man was Angies dad. Angies dad tells Hiro's father that Thomas is "a wittle
bitty mini fag" and they hit Thomas with the truck.
     Thomas died in the hospital that night.
Nobody beleives that it was anything besides a tragic accident even when Vi tells
what he saw. The two men are charged with driving under the influence and vehicular
man slaughter but only senteced two years in prison followed by eight years parol.
    Vi realizes that he had loved Thomas, and when he was a bit older he found out
that fag was just a mean way the say that a boy liked other boys, and that what
killed Thomas was a hate crime. Hiro stoped being mean to Vi and stoped going after
Angie, because he couldn't beleve his own father had killed someone even by mistake.
    The story ends with Angies mother adopting a new born baby from a pregnant teen.
The teen wanted her child named Tommy after the boy in Rugrats. Tommy is always
happiest if he had ribbons tied into his fluffy baby hair.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_

taa-daa. as i said, feel free to leave feed back, suggestions, or constructive
critizium.

Comments 
‹Mad♥Hatter♥Love› says:   3 December 2008   985866  
Oooooo, it sounds interesting......

Just....
 
‹DeliriousNightingale♥› says:   3 December 2008   953998  
It's so sad. But, in a good way.
 
Kirti says:   4 December 2008   958538  
thank you.
 
‹ruthie .› says:   4 December 2008   844957  
Ooh very interesting. A musical you say? Wow! That would be pretty
cool.
Yeah, I think its very good. Complex, but in a good way. Sad too.
 
tiggerlemon101 says:   4 December 2008   474615  
Cool, it sounds VERY good.  Especially picturing it as a musical... I
can see funny queer numbers... It's should be good.
 
Kirti says:   5 December 2008   257511  
omg this is a hot diary!! wait how'd that happen? only four people
commented!
 
‹SqueeneyTodd› says:   6 December 2008   474748  
Wow, that sounds amazing!
 
Kirti says:   7 December 2008   723336  
aparently I can use a gay tragedy in school. siigh...
 
Kirti says:   9 December 2008   991112  
can't*
 
MeepingMeep says:   12 December 2008   426699  
Um... yeah. That would be amazing if you could use that in school
though! I really like it! COOLIO!
 
Kirti says:   15 January 2009   434125  
the musical that was chosen is the story of a immigrant from mexico
who moves to New Yow city ever though he can't speak english.

It sounded good in theory but it's turning out awful. This idiot has
been trying to take over the production; the problem is he's mega
racist and is convinced that the only place a mexican is suited to
work is at a Taco Bell, that he should sing corny love songs which
will win the heart of Alice (who will be played by me because I was
the last one to say 'not it') even though Alice dumps him on the first
date because they can't even have a conversation. Plus the immagrant
who this idiot wanted to name Nacho but thankfully has been named
Alejandro 

and the idiot want to say that Alejandro had a bunch of one night
stands in his "dirty Mexican village" and his son hates him and trys
to kill him.
 
Kirti says :   15 January 2009   475119  
I really hate that idiot. He is so stupid! Assuming immagrants don't
want to or can't make something of themselves, and that woman will
date you even if they can't communicate in anyway.
 

 
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