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This diary entry is written by ‹pıɐSʎןdɯıS›. ( View all entries )
 

A poem i made for enlglish classCategory: (general)
Thursday, 3 July 2008
10:52:42 AM (GMT)
We had to make poems about war in english class mine turned out horrible but here it
is

    
 

                               Death fills the air,
                   Bodies lay unknown,
                           His family starts to worry when they dont hear the phone


                             "Will he die"   "is he dead"
                 These thoughts go round and round in their heads


                         They begin to weep, they cry. they sorrow,
       Wondering if he is alive will he make it til' tomorrow?

                

                         Then in the middle of the crying,
                             The phone begins to ring
                            they all pause and hesitate at this dramatic scene
 

                   The mother picks up the phone
         Hoping her nightmares were all wrong,
                           Filled with sudden relief after hearing the first word,
                  "Mom?"

Comments 
Orca1234 says:   3 July 2008   538453  
VERY good. NOT horrible.
‹pıɐSʎןdɯıS› says:   3 July 2008   794298  
ty but idk
 
Orca1234 says:   3 July 2008   452328  
BUT IT'S GOOOOOD. D8
‹pıɐSʎןdɯıS› says:   3 July 2008   867551  
thxs ^_^
 
Princess67 says:   3 July 2008   629155  
it's a really good poem.i thought  u said it was horrible
 
‹pıɐSʎןdɯıS› says:   3 July 2008   664977  
well isnt it?
 
StrangeLover says:   3 July 2008   476783  
i think its quite good... Could work a bit on the rhyming 
natsuki_sorana says:   3 July 2008   187134  
OMG!!!  It's really good!  Try working more on the rhyming!  but u'll
get it!! this is already good!!
 
‹pıɐSʎןdɯıS› says:   3 July 2008   477145  
poems dont have to rhyme and and if they do they dont have to rhyme
perfectly but thanks for the advice
 
‹iiBeINSANEE™› says:   4 July 2008   368469  
RAWR.
I love this :]]
Aww, haha your such a little poet! :]
I think its AMAZING :DD
P.S. Poems absolutely DONT have to rhyme! wtf ppl? Gawsh :3 
haha
NiceJobb :]] 
-gives you a cupcake- 
muahaha. :]
I dont know why I used my evil laugh O.e 
Oh well :]
 
‹pıɐSʎןdɯıS› says:   4 July 2008   948378  
haha thxs and its not a problem if i get a bit of advice i was just
saying they dont always have to ty though ^_^
 
‹Abigail May› says :   26 April 2009   676286  
this is really good.
 

 
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