There is No Dignity in Losing a Friend Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 
 

This diary entry is written by neoeno. ( View all entries )
 
Previous entry: LOVE SURVEY in category Quizzz
You can also go directly to the previous entry in category (general)

There is No Dignity in Losing a FriendCategory: (general)
Friday, 6 June 2008
02:08:25 AM (GMT)
Today, five days after it hit, it finally sank in.

Impossibilities turned to possibilities, and now are slowly dripping into
probabilities. 

There's not even any reason. Maybe it's my fault for bringing up the subject, for
another attempt at telling someone the truth, and turning her into that, but... I'm
not convinced. I couldn't have deserved that, surely. Our relationship was built so
much upon emotion that reasonless uncaringness doesn't seem strange to us at all. She
said she doesn't care, I know she doesn't have a reason, but this makes somehow more
sense than any reason ever could.

The question is becoming: what am I going to do?

She's been such an integral part of my life, of my identity even. While I've had
major trust-cracking arguments with all my other regularly-communicatable close
friends... I'd not had one with her. I wouldn't say it was something about her
necessarily.. more about the way we interacted with eachother than anything of me or
her... but it was a sensation of safety. A relationship where I could trust her not
to hurt me, and for things to be calm. That's not there anymore, most certainly, and
so I'm left just... rootless. Vulnerable. There is, currently, no one I can turn to.
Hence why I only told one person today, and didn't mention it to anyone in the four
days intervening. Ironically, there wasn't any chance of even the most contrarian of
friends siding with the other person on this one if I gave them the facts (this is a
factor that has stopped me talking about things with people before).

I'm not even sure how we could move on from this, if she were to start caring
again...

Blah.

Comments 
saralyn247 says :   6 June 2008   378217  
-hugs-
Aw... I can't say I know how you feel, but I imagine it would be
terrible.

I'm not reassuring at all, I can tell. Blah.
 

 
HTML Tips

 
Next entry: 00000101: Witness, by The Delgados in category (general)
.....
Related Entries
emo_person_1: emo people i dont know
Bleach: Who Is Your Best Friend? Read This
Fire_raina: I AM NOT EMO!!! Inner thoughts
SakuraWolfe: emo emo
Rawest_Incorporated: Friend/Best Friend


About Kupika    Contact    FAQs    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy    Online Safety
Copyright © 2005-2012