Saturday, 27 October 2007
01:29:12 AM (GMT)
Today...it seemed that HE would pop up wherever I went. I couldn't stop talking
about him with my friends that know of this deep secret... I'd sit in the same art
classroom where I first met him...right in his exact seat... I'd stare at my current
Fine Arts project and stare at the blurred initials I had rubbed into my drawing... I
kept thinking of his birthday too. Very strange. I thought of the silly dreams he'd
tell me, the Shakespeare lines he'd run through as I pretended to keep busy next to
him, how he taught me to break into doors with a hanger and then folding me a duck
out of it... I thought of that dumb smile, that lanky form, those smirking eyes, his
clever quips and insults...those sweet words of dreams and hopeful futures...his
troubles and stress...
God...how I miss him. It hurts.
How could I ignore him during our last days in each other's presences? How could I
have not TRIED telling him something...anything...? Why didn't I smile for him as he
had done for me during those trying and random scenarios. To follow him the hall...to
sit next to him alone again...to have him laugh for me...
...so wonderful at the same time.
He's helped me in ways he will never know. Why didn't I say 'thank you'?
'I love you'?
As I have said before in my last diary entry, I like surveys! They make you think
deeply even if you pass if off as a silly question or not. You find out things about
yourself and ask yourself questions you would have never asked otherwise.
But...why post surveys for others to comment answers such as YOU + Me + MY ROOM =
um...you have NEVER met some of these people, I presume. Why would you ask your
friends such a dirty question? Do you mean this to be funny or are...serious? When
you give options to "activities"...ugh.
If I were to ask that same question, most would probably say: I'D MAKE YOU DRAW FOR
This was a stupid entry, no?