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This diary entry is written by xoKissMeInTheRainox. ( View all entries )

1000 tearsCategory: (general)
Sunday, 29 July 2007
02:54:36 PM (GMT)
I have always been aperson who likes to be alone and Im not very social...But Im
always depressed and I cry a lot...usually I get into fights in school and I always
get pushed around like a doll. Im never noticed and I dont smile that much. My
laughter turns into sobs and my smiles turn into scowls. I dont think anyone cares
about my opinion and no matter what I do I can never fit in. Im always the loser and
the outcast the one who gets trown a side and left in the dust. I watch people laugh
and have fun but it makes me cry. My heart feels like it's shattered into a million
pieces and no matter what it cant be fixed. I have been called a loser a jerk an
idiot an outcast a nobody those words hurt like a thousand needles. I've always had
social "problems" Im not the most talkative person and I dont get along with a lot of
people. I have tried so many times to avoid my enemies and make friends with people
but they dont want to be my friend. I care about all of my friends but I dont see
them very often in the summer. In school people called me emo and threw things at me.
I hide in the darkness and cry. My heart bleeds and hurts a lot. I've never felt pain
as much as I do right now. My parents are fighting even more and they yell at each
other a lot so I hide and cry covering my ears. But when they fight it haunts my
dreams and it kills me on the inside. My dad drinks and my mom yells at him and they
fight over that. But recently they stopped for a few months and I thought the
fighting was over but I was mistaken. The fighting got worse and now...I know its
over my parents are spliting up and I might never see my dad again. I had the choice
to go live with him but I chose to live with my mom...and my sister nicole might go
live with her dad and I'll be alone...My parents spliting up broke my heart and I
cant take the pain it hurts so much and I try so hard to hold back the tears but it
hurts even more. There was a time in my life I thought about commiting suicide but
that would hurt the people who care about me...and I dont want to hurt anyone. Im so
confused and the pain in my heart gets worse and worse every day. I just want to run
away from all of my pain and sarrow but I cant it will fallow me and haunt me for the
rest of my life...*cries*

EmpressEmoMuffinbake says:   29 July 2007   934111  
That's so sad...
in a good way.
crazygirl_55 says:   29 July 2007   379692  
wow thats sad
i can be a friend
what state do u live in
xoKissMeInTheRainox says:   29 July 2007   584369  
new hampshire
baller4life says :   29 July 2007   881734  
thats deep


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