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This diary entry is written by ‹atheenuh_twopointoh›. ( View all entries )
 
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I'm a living fucking sinCategory: poetry
Friday, 3 January 2014
08:07:26 PM (GMT)
He doesn't know I lied
I've been in love for over two years
He'll never know what's coming

Two years
Damn, I thought I'd stop writing for you by now
All these words go straight to how
How do I let myself do this

You just want to leave me desperate
Longing for you while you're gone
It's been 7 months since I've seen you

You told me things I haven't heard in a while
You gave me attention
Something I haven't had since September

You gave me something different
Brought me back to our year
Our years
My years
Our year
Yeah, that's how I'll put it

You were all talk
How can I believe you
I thought this over and over
Until you came
Until you arrived
Until you showed up at my door

I knew it was wrong
But I've been waiting for two years
Two long years

The way you bit your lips
I couldn't stand myself
I fucked you up
Now it's time for you to fuck me up

How will I tell my new what happened
Should I act normal
I've never done this before

He's sitting at home
His trust in me 
So strong I can feel it in my bed

I'm shivering in his arms
He whispers to me to not worry about a thing
He'll be off in a few days until spring
I knew he didn't love me
He didn't have the same feelings I did towards him for the passed two years

Although he remembers every detail I told him about myself
He mentions things I've said from a year ago
He holds me against the things I promised two years ago
But does he remember the things I remember

Like the first words we said to each other
The first real conversation
The way he noticed I was staring at him when I first saw him
I remember that day clearly
That was the day I fell in love with him
Does he remember his reflection in the window
Does he remember the comments people gave us
I don't think he does
I don't think he remembers the things I do

I deserve no trust
I lied
I cheated
I craved 
For someone else's touch

But how can this be entirely my fault?
This man has given me the least bit affection in the passed 5 months
The least bit of attention
Satisfaction 
He couldn't sweet talk me
Couldn't make me moan over the phone
He couldn't do half the things that this one can do

He makes me happy, sure
But not as much as I was last night
I'm a terrible person though
I always thought he'd be the one to do this
Now the tables turned on me
But at this point, I don't care
Because I'm in the warm arms of the man I was in love with for two years
This moment in time has given me the best happiness 
Happiness I haven't felt since March 2012

I'm sorry, my love
But you are not my love no longer
You are just my friend
And friends is what we do best
Although, nothing else will happen between me and my lover
I'm fine with it
Because I still got his attention after two years
And that's good enough for me

Comments 
‹~LeDoobie~› says:   20 March 2014   514133  
Athena, This Is....Beautiful O_o

It Reminds Me Of Someone</3
 
‹atheenuh_twopointoh› says :   20 March 2014   714033  
@neons_back 
Omg thank you cccc': 
 
 
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