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This diary entry is written by ‹~(Shaywee)~›. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: The more I write this story, the more I want this boy. in category (general)

Monday, 16 May 2011
08:17:01 PM (GMT)
So the eighth grade at my school has to write an essay, similar to a senior's
thesis, for graduation. And I will post what I write for that essay. It's just... my
answer to the question. The question is something like, "Who are you today, and how
did you come to be this way?"
Today, the more I thought about my answer, the more I hated myself. I'll vent about
it later. But I just feel like shit. I want to be elsewhere. I want solitude. But I
want to talk to my aunt. And I can't until the end of this week.
I just hate the way things are going for me. It's not... I just am not content with
myself. And there's no one but my aunt who really understands. I hate to say it, but
no one really actually knows me. There are tons of things that I don't tell people
because they're such secrets. My friends... I love them. I would probably take a
bullet for them. But I just feel so guilty that I can't confide in them like I can my
aunt. It kills me. Rips away the only feeling of hope. 
Sorry for having to vent like this. They're all gonna hate me now. My friends. I'm
sorry, guys. I really do love you. Don't forget it.
Agh. I'm gonna stay up late tonight. 
Sorry. I'm really, truly, sorry.

‹RushingStars★› says:   16 May 2011   263349  
I've felt that way before. Sometimes it's like, you want to talk to
your friends about these deeper, more raw feelings, but you're so
scared of what they will think. And you're afraid they won't care or
will just try to be good friends and pretend they know what you're
talking about. when they really don't.

I hope things work our for you. [:
TieMyShoes says:   16 May 2011   207024  
Reverse your thinking. Write about the good stuff that is you. What
about having a roof over your head, parents, food, decent clothes,
friends, even that new pen..... STOP thinking negative. Would you
trade places with the little kid in the burn ward at the hospital?
What about the little girl dying of cancer.....wanna trade places?
‹~(Shaywee)~› says:   18 May 2011   556271  
Exactly. I think it's their attention spans. Because every time I get
a moment with them, someone else comes over and says something like,
my aunt. She can listen.
FFFFUUUU now I feel guilty because I can't make them better. Or that I
didn't consider those neseceties (sp?) first. But there's so much more
to it that I didn't put here. That's the other problem. I can't please
everyone. Thanks for trying to help though. 
TieMyShoes says:   18 May 2011   546685  
in the end, it will work out for the best
‹~(Shaywee)~› says :   18 May 2011   981543  


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