Thursday, 12 August 2010
11:13:45 PM (GMT)
Does the fat girl want to be fat? It’s truly not a hard question. A simple
question with a not so simple answer. If you answered yes, then you’ve obviously
have an immense amount to learn.
Since I was in the third grade I’ve dealt with people saying things about my
weight. Even as an elementary school student I knew I wasn’t anyone’s ideal
picture. I had zero self-confidence and found that my personality was only what my
best friend wanted it to be. When I think back on her I wonder how that girl could
have been my best friend. Friends are supposed to build you up and love you no matter
what, right? Well this girl did the exact opposite. She was a tall, slender, blonde
It-girl; I was a chubby, frizzy, loser. I tore myself apart to make her world
everything she wanted; I ripped away at myself for a girl who didn’t care about me.
The biggest incident that stuck with me, kept me up crying, and still hurts me was
all over a stupid game. The game Sims was a virtual reality, role-playing game. My
friend owned the game and I sat next to her watching as she built herself and me. She
looked me over then turned to the screen clicking the weight up to overweight. I
asked her to not do it but she didn’t agree and said something along the lines of
‘Then it wouldn’t be realistic.’ I simply sat there, that was how she wanted
it to be.
When she moved away I was forced to find myself. The self esteem problems persisted
until one night I looked at myself in the mirror and saw beauty in my flaws, saw that
all my imperfections made me special and unique. I find myself being confident in my
body and loving the things that other people criticize me for. Of course there are
moments when I hate that I can’t fit into my favorite pair of jeans. Bottom-line is
that I am an overweight not-so-healthy teenage girl.
A while ago my English teacher assigned us an essay on our pet-peeves. I did mine on
pet names, but a girl in my class did hers on obese people. I heard quotes from the
essay such as, “They are disgusting, lazy slobs,” or even “They don’t deserve
to live.” This infuriated me. If she had an issue with lazy people then she should
have done her essay on that, not on obesity. Not that I’m advocating obesity or
anything. Here’s a little fact; most ‘fat’ people don’t want to be fat, most
overweight people wish they could be healthy. Many people would counter that by
saying, ‘Well all they need is self-restraint and motivation.’ When it comes to
physical activity, there are points when you’re so out of shape that running for
five minutes is as impossible as flying. And when you have people always telling you
your best isn’t good enough there is no changing that environment. When it comes to
eating habits, weight is the most unfair thing in the world. A skinny girl can eat
McDonalds and drink nothing but pop and she’ll still lose weight while a ‘fat’
girl can eat a salad and drink only water and still find herself gaining weight. It
isn’t right that the ‘right-sized’ girls can go out for desert and not be
judged but whenever a ‘fat’ girl walks into an ice cream shop there is bound to
be more than a few snickers.
Imagine that every morning you got up and looked at a mirror and found yourself to
be repulsive. Imagine getting dressed and not being able to wear what you really want
because they don’t make that shirt in your size. Imagine going to school and
hearing people shout, ‘Clear the hall, the elephant is on the move!’ Imagine not
being able to make friends because everyone has already decided you’re disgusting.
Imagine being discriminated against simply because they don’t like your weight. Now
ask yourself, does the fat girl want to be fat?