Saturday, 14 March 2009
04:27:47 AM (GMT)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I
realized it when your dwarf bit me outside of Chicago and I saw you sit on Manchester
United's goalkeeper. I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that Santa doesn't
exist. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your collection of
butterflies as a memory. You should
also know that I will always remember the incarnation as an eskimo.
Greetings to your frog Leonard,
It's Your Turn!
Do the following...
This is the Letter Meme! Copy the How-To part of the Letter Meme into your journal,
and fill it out above the instructions. Tag five people, and then you're done!
How To Do This:
Dear [The Last Person To Comment On Your Latest Journal Entry],
I don't really know how to tell you this, but [One]. I think I realized it
[Two] [Three] and I saw you [Four] [Five]. I'm sure you're [Six] enough to
[Seven]. I'm returning [Eight] to you, but I'll keep [Nine] as a memory. You should
also know that I [Ten] [Eleven] .
One: What is the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over.
Red - Our affair is over.
White - I'll join the monastery.
Black - I dislike you.
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match.
Grey - You're a pervert.
Yellow - I'm selling myself.
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting.
Brown - The mafia wants you.
Shirtless - You're a loser.
Other - I'm in love with your sister.
Two: Which is your birth month?
January - That night.
February - Last year.
March - When your dwarf bit me.
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds.
May - The first of May.
June - When you put cuffs on me.
July - When I threw up.
August - When I saw the shrunken head.
September - When we skinny dipped.
October - When I quoted Santa.
November - When your dog ran wild.
December - When I changed tennis shoes.
Three: Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment.
Pizza - In your RV.
Pasta - Outside of Chicago.
Hamburgers - Under the bus.
Salad - As you ate enchilada.
Chicken - In your closet.
Kabob - With Paris Hilton.
Fish - In women's clothing.
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation.
Lasagna - At the mental hospital.
Hot dog - Under a state of trance.
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife.
Four: What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on.
Red - Insult.
Black - Ignore.
Blue - Knock out.
Purple - Pour syrup on.
White - Carve your initials into.
Grey - Pull the clothes off.
Brown - Put leeches on.
Orange - Scratch.
Pink - Pull the toupee off.
Barefoot - Sit on.
Other - Drive out.
Five: What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend.
White - My father.
Grey - Bill Clinton.
Brown - My fart balloon.
Purple - My mustard soufflé.
Red - Donald Duck.
Blue - My avocado plant.
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana.
Orange - My Kid Rock collection.
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper.
None - My John F. Kennedy statue.
Other - The crazy monk.
Six: What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man.
O.C. - Emotional.
One Tree Hill - Open.
Heroes - Frostbitten.
Lost - High.
House - Scarred.
Simpsons - Cowardly.
The News - Mongolic.
Idol - Masochistic.
Family Guy - Senile.
Top Model - Middle-Class.
None of the above - Ashamed.
Seven: Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt.
Sad - How boring you are.
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist.
Angry - That your pimples are huge.
Depressed - That we're cousins.
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east.
Worried - That your Honda sucks.
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster.
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men.
Excited - That I'm open.
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks.
Eight: What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring.
Yellow - Your love letters.
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster.
Black - Your tame stone.
Blue - The couch cushions.
Green - The pictures from LA.
Orange - Your false teeth.
Brown - Your contact book.
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs.
Purple - Your old lottery coupons.
Pink - The cut toenails.
Other - Your memories from the military service.
Nine: The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo.
C/D - The oil stocks.
E/F - Your neighbor Martin.
G/H - My virginity.
I/J - The results of your blood-sample.
K/L - Your left ear.
M/N - Your suicide note.
O/P - My common sense.
Q/R - Your mom.
S/T - Your collection of butterflies.
U/V - Your criminal record.
W/X - David's tricot outfits.
Y/Z - Your grades from college.
Ten: The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember.
C/D - Never will forget.
E/F - Always wanted to break.
G/H - Never openly mocked.
I/J - Always have felt dirty before.
K/L - Will tell the authorities about.
M/N - Told in my confession today about.
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about.
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about.
S/T - Get sick when I think of.
U/V - Always will try to forget.
W/X - Am better off without.
Y/Z - Never liked.
Eleven: What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship.
Beer - Senility.
Soft drink - A new life as a clone.
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo.
Milk - The apartment building.
Wine - Cocaine abuse.
Cider - A passionate interest for mice.
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations.
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash.
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism.
Whisky - To ruin the second world war.
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics.
Twelve: To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards.
USA - Best regards.
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail.
Spain - Go and drown yourself.
China - Disgusting regards.
Germany - With ease.
Japan - Go burn.
Greece - Your everlasting enemy.
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard.
Egypt - Fuck off now.
France - In pain.
Other - Greetings to your freaky family.
Last edited: 14 March 2009