Wednesday, 24 September 2008
12:10:07 AM (GMT)
~A/N: Dargh, this is the fifth time I started typing this, and it didn't work
out! Dargh! (Not argh, dargh!) Anyways, I realize that one part of this is not
canon, but nobody will notice. If you do, just message me. It won't screw up the
ultimate target for those characters at the end of the story. Anyways (wow, i say
that a lot, don't I?), since I dedicated the last chapter, I think I'll dedicate this
To Breagh, to Riley, to Lindsay, to Sidney, to Lauren, to Marie, to Sammi, to Haley,
to Niki, to Kirsten, to Jehsyka and to Alyssa.(Throws 'Shakespeares Greatest Works'
at Alyssa's head!)
On with it!~
Chapter Eight~The Crazy Random Chapter
Ashley had just gotten out of the shower, which she was in desperate need of after
coming home from the beach all sandy and salty. She wrapped herself in her fuzzy
pink bathrobe and was brushing through her long, strawberry blonde hair when the
phone rang. She was going to answer it, but her mother's call of 'I'll get it,'
stopped her. She listened to their end of the conversation anyway.
"Rabb residence, Sarah speaking," Mac said. It was weird to hear her mother
address herself as Sarah.
"Oh, hi!" she exclaimed. "What can I do for you? - Of course you can, sweet
"Lindsay!" she called. "Phone!" Ashley rolled her eyes. Go figure. It was
probably Jazzy. Lindsay came bounding around the corner and grabbed the phone from
her mom's outstretched hands.
"Who is it?" she asked.
"Jazzy." But of course. Since Lindsay and Jazzy were the same age, and this was
an entirely new and confusing setting, they had already found a friend in one
"Hi Jazzy! What's up? - Mm-hmm. - Okay, cool. - Sounds fun.
"Wait, does that mean my sister has to come?"
Ashley's ears perked up. Why were they talking about her? Where was she going?
"Come where?" she hollered.
"Shut up, I'm talking!" Lindsay yelled back. "Sorry, that was just Ashley.
Anyways... - okay, I'll ask.
"Mom," she said, turning around to find Mac, "Jazzy and Amber and Claudia are
staying with Carly and Syesha tonigh while their parents go out, and they wanna know
if we want to come."
"You and Ashley both?" Mac asked, taking a sip of coffee.
Mac looked at Harm. "Is that okay with you?"
"Is that okay with Carly and Syesha?" Harm asked, being annoyingly parental.
"How am I supposed to know?" Lindsay asked. Her voice posessed a slightly mocking
"Ask! How else would you know?" Harm replied, with an equal tone of sarcasm.
Lindsay rolled her eyes. "My dad wants to know if it's okay with Carly and
Syesha. - Thought so.
"It was their idea, Dad," Lindsay said, her voice boiling over with attitude.
"Okay, good. Did I ever imply that I thought it wasn't okay?"
"Yes, you did."
"No, I didn't. I just wanted to be sure. Now, continue your conversation,
"So we can go?" Lindsay asked with a hopeful smile.
Harm smiled. "Of course you can."
"Okay, this movie officially has no point!" Syesha exclaimed. They were about
three quarters of the way through watching 'The Last MImzy,' and Emma had just told
Naomi and Mr. White about how Mimzy told her about The Seven Mountains.
"What do you mean it has no point?" Claudia asked incredulously. "How can it not
have a point?"
They had been engaged in an arguement about whether or not the movie was
completely nonsens. It was mostly Syesha and Jazzy versus Ashley and Claudia, but
every once in a while someone would through in a comment.
"Okay, stuffed bunnies do not talk to little girls about paintings!" Syesha
exclaimed. "Where did it even come from?"
Ashley begrudgingly hit the pause button and pressed on. "Syesha, it's science
fiction. Fiction being the operative word. And Mimzy came through a
"Oh, and when was the last time you saw a mad scientist stuffing a child's toy in
Carly rolled her eyes. "Can we just please watch the movie, for Heaven's sake!"
Personally, Ashley, thought arguements were healthy, even necessary. But
whatever. For the sake of everyone's sanity, they stopped bickering. Aside from
occasional sniggers from Syesha every time something something unusual happened, they
watched the reast of the movie in silence. It actually was quite a good movie.
About half an hour later, there was a knock at the door.
"Got it!" Carly jumped up to answer the door. As soon as the door was open, it
was like someone had unleashed all of the insane psycho bubbliness in the world and
rested it in Carly and Syesha's doorstep. It was Brooke and Kristy Lee.
"Hi guys!" Brooke exclaimed. "What's up?"
"We heard there was a party here," Kristy began, "and we weren't invited."
"Well, you are now," Carly laughed. "Come on in guys. we're just watching a
Brooke laughed. "You're watching a movie? Don't you have anything better to
"We're just babysitting, so yeah, we really do have nothing better to do," Carly
"Well, then..." Kristy said, "somebody do something."
Ashley aimed the remote at the T.V. and pressed the pause button. "Okay...
Lindsay. Truth, dare, or electric chair?"
"Truth, dare or what?" Carly asked.
Ashley rolled her eyes. "You don't know this game, do you?"
"Okay," Ashley began, "it's basically just truth or dare, but electric chair is
when the person gives you three dares to choose from, and if you don't pick one
everyone gets to physically injure you!"
Although the physical injury part didn't sound altogether appealing to Carly, she
was willing to let it slide. Besides, it's not like there was anything she wouldn't
"Sounds fun." she said with a smile.
"Okay!" Ashley said. "So Linds, truth, dare, or electric chair?"
"Electric chair!" Lindsay exclaimed, without a moment's hesitation.
Ashley gazed aaruond the room. What would psych Lindsay? What really got her?
Hmmm... she was easily grossed out, a huge germaphobe, and she could sometimes be a
bit of a nervous wreck. Now she had three brilliant ideas. She beckoned Carly over
and whispered something in her ear. Carly nodded and smirked.
"Devious, child, devious!" she exclaimed.
"Okay, Ashley said, taking a breath. "Lindsay, you have to either A, eat
lipstick, B, prank all Simon, or C, lick everyone's feet. Remember, if you don't
choose, you will have to endure physical pain."
"You're making it sound like a game show,'' Lindsay said shakily.
"In a way it is. Now, what's it gonna be?"
Lindsay took a deep, contemplative breath. "I guess I'm gonna have to prank call
Simon, as long as you've got the number."
Ashley laughed. Her sister thought she'd got her. You see, the young girls had a
rule that if you couldn't make good on your own dare, you had to endure the physical
pain. Of course, why would she have Simon's phone number? That was ludicrous! But
she, like her father, never made a promise she couldn't keep.
"Go get the phone," Carly instructed. "It's 555-0673."
Lindsay took in a deep breath every time she pressed a button. The phone rang for
a bit, and everyone could tell when she got an answer because all of the colour
drained from her freckly face.
"H-hello," she stammered. My I speak veet Seemon Cowl? - Yesh, yesh. Zis is
Jeff-fa-fa Dunn-ham. - You know, Walter? Achmed zee Dead Terrorist? - No, no, you
must not hang up! - I have... Oh my God, iz eating me! Ahh! Iz eating me! - Mr.
Cowl, iz eating- Hey! I think he hung up on me! That wasn't very nice of him!"
Everyone stared at Lindsay for a brief moment, then looked around the room at the
faces of everyone else. After about six seconds, they all simoltaneously burst out
laughing. Even Lindsay, who everyone imagined would have been thoroughly embarassed,
couldn't contain herself. After five solid minutes of hysterical giggling and
maniacal laughter, the last few tears were wiped away and the last few strands of
hair were pulled back.
"Ah, good times, good times," Lindsay said, her shoulders still shaking slightly.
"Anyways, umm... Amber! Truth, dare, or electric chair?"
Amber considered for a moment. "Um, I think I'm gonna go with electric chair,"
Lindsay was hoping the nine-year-old would pick truth. She didn't want to do
anything too harsh, but it wasn't fun if you did typical little-kid stuff. What
could she do that wasn't too gross, too mean or too nerve-wracking? Hmm...
"Okay," she began hesitantly, "you have the choice of either leaving a Post-It
note on Jason's door that says 'Dreadlocks are for Hippies,' eating a tiny piece of
soap or calling your brother and yelling nonsense words at him. Pick one."
Apparently, all of the Archuleta siblings were just as shy and/or ridiculously
respectful, because Amber's response was so 'David' it wasn't even funny.
"Well, I don't want to hurt Jason's feelings or anything, and he might get mad.
And then David likes to go to bed early, and if he's not in bed he'd be practicing
for the show on Tuesday. I don't want to get him really upset or anything, so I
guess I'll have to eat soap."
"Woah, woah, woah!" Brooke yelled. "Amber, you don't have to do that. Jason
won't be that offended, trust me! It's cool. And come one, David loves you to bits.
You're like his favourite person in the whole world. He wouldn't get mad at you. I
just don't think eating soap is particularly sanitary."
Lindsay laughed and rolled her eyes. "Brooke, chill out, me and Zash do it all
the time. It's just a tiny bit. It doesn't hurt anything."
"Honest?" Brooke asked, looking worried.
"For real," Ashley nodded. "You can hardly even taste it!"
Brooke looked like she didn't really believe it, but the nanny eventually
conesnted. "Alright, if you say so. But if she throws up-"
Amber giggled that little girl giggle. "Brooke, it's okay, it's just a teeny,
tiny, bit. I'm fine!"
"Lindsay jumped up and headed in the direction of the bathroom. "I'll be back,"
She returned about a minute later, apparently empty-handed. When she opened up
her hand, the little green speck in her hand revealed otherwise. The piece of soap
was really only about a centimetre wide, and it looked like you could swallow it
whole and not even notice it.
Jazzy quickly took it in her hand and popped it in her mouth. Brooke held her
breath, looking like she was going to be sick. A few long seconds later (at
least for the nanny of the group), Amber smiled.
"It wasn't even that bad," she said with a giggle. Brooke finally exhaled, then
laughed a bit.
"It wasn't was it?"
Amber shook her head, smiling.
"Okee dokee," the little girls said, slowly choosing a vicitm, as though she knew
their fate. "Kristy Lee! Truth, dare, or... what's the one I did?"
"Electric chair," Claudia said with a loving, sisterly smile.
"Oh, right! Truth, dare, or electric chair?"
"Umm, truth," Kirsty said, going a little against the grain.
Now,the average third grader can't really come up with the best truth question,
right? Apparently wrong! Amber's face lit up like a Christmas tree. When her next
words came out, it was so perfect it seemed planned. Admittedly, it wasn't even that
great of a question, but it seemed to really get to Kristy. It was as though she
knew her question would irk the Idol the way it did.
"Do you like any guys from Amerian Idol?"
Kristy's face looked flushed. She must have gotten the same sense that Amber
almost knew she was going to form an embarassing moment. Brooke began to giggle
maniacally, as though she knew something nobdy else did.
"Is there an answer to this question?" asked Carly inquisitively.
"Yes," Kristy said, looking flushed, "yes there is."
The littlest of the bunch smirked widely. "Which is..."
"Do I have to?"
"No," Amber replied, but if you don't, we get to hurt you!"
Kristy sighed. "Alright then. I'll just come out and say it. It's David Cook."
Everybody's jaw dropped, but all for different reasons.
"Okay," Syesha said, "why in God's name was that so hard for you to admit? That's
so weird, Kristy. He's like, insanely cute!"
"More like hot!" Claudia exclaimed. "Kristy, I wouldn't have figured you for the
one with shyness issues when it comes to that sort of thing."
Kristy shrugged. "I dunno. Even when I was in, like, eighth grade, I was the one
who almost didn't want to go to sleepovers cause I knew I'd have to admit who I had a
crush on. I've just always been like that."
Claudia nodded. She didn't really care, she just wouldn't have guessed Kristy was
that girl, that's all.
Now it was Carly's turn to speak up. "I'm just surprised that you three have such
shockingly... normal taste. I mean, come on, Cook? Seriously, guys!"
"Why, who's your favourite?" Brooke asked.
"Nice try," Carly retorted. "But I'm married. I'm beyond all that nonsense.
Brooke laughed. "Sure you are, Carly, sure you are! But just strictly on
appearance, who would be your mature, married, all-powerful preferance?"
The Irish woman appeared to have no problem admitting these kinds of things,
because she said confidently, "I'd have to go the other way and say Michael. By a
long-shot, actually. What about you, Brooke?"
Everyone styared at Brooke espectantly. They knew the odds of getting an answer
were slim to nill, but that didn't mean they couldn't hope for one.
"I do not have an opinion on this particular topic. I just don't," was her
"Oh, bull!" Syesha exclaimed. Claudia, Amber and Jazzy flinched. Wow, Mormons
were all uptight! "Just pick one!"
She sighed, turning pink. "I'm gonna have to go with the pack on this one, Carly.
"Oh, come on!" Carly exclaimed. "You're such... such... girls! I mean really,
how typical does it get?
"Ashley! You're old enough to have an opinion on this. Pick a side!"
Ashley laughed. "What about Jason? No love for the dreads?"
"Good one, kiddo," Kristy said with a smile. "You were joking, right?"
"Of course I was. But I do feel sorry for the poor dude. No love!"
Everybody laughed again.
Ashley shrugged her shoulders haphazardly. "Sorry, Carly. Facts are facts!"
Carly rolled her eyes. "Be that way!" she exclaimed, tossing a pillow at the
adolescant. "You conformist! But that doesn't really matter, anyways. We all know
who Ashley's favourite is!"
Ashley went beetroot red in teh face. "Carly!" How could she have said that!
That was so mean!
"Well, come on Zash, it's pretty obvious!" Lindsay exclaimed.
"Shut up!" Ashley yelled. "You guys are not nice," she whined, in a mock-hurt
Claudia rolled her eyes. "Guys. Seriously. Eww. Can we please just not talk
about... that? It's bad enough as it is! Poor Jazzy never gets a moment's peace at
Everybody gazed at the Archuleta sisters. It was clear to both sides that they
were severly outnumbered, and were going to have to live with it.
With nothing left to say, Jazzy offered a weak "You guys disgust me."
Rolling her eyes, Syesha said, "Ashley, you're worse than Kristy. What's the big
deal? Every girl on the planet between the ages of eight and eighteen is determined
to marry Archie. What's the big deal?"
Ashley shrugged. "First of all, not every girl," mainly thinking of Lindsay and a
few of her friends from school. "And I don't know why it's a big deal. It just- it
"That's fair," Brooke said, with her typical sympathetic smile. "Besides, in five
years, when you're like, eighteen, and he's twenty-two, you two can date. That'll be
okay then!" Whty was it that Brooke had the strangest uncanny knack to be totally
sympathetic and understanding, and awkward and big-sister-like at the same time?
"OKay guys, I'm gonna puke!" Amber exclaimed.
Claudia nodded. "Can we just please continue the game and stop talking about me
disgusting brother? It's driving me crazy!"
"Diddo!" Jazzy exclaimed.
"Alright, fine," Kristy replied, with a smile on her face. "Claudia, truth, dare,
or electric chair?"
A good hour later, Claudia had cut her hair at all angles, Syesha had run freezing
cold water over her head for thirty seconds straight, JAzzy had stuck a note on David
Cook's door that said 'Go suck a cow, why don't you?', then pounded on it hard, and
Carly had, oddly enough. ended up running full speed into the wall. Brooke,
unfortunately, had to roll with the punches (quite literally, actually) when she
refused to bite herself until she drew blood. Leave it to Carly to come up with
something like that.
Soon it was nearing eleven o'clock, and the four school-age girls had to go to
sleep (or so Carly and Brooke said). Regretfully, Ashley crawled into her purple
polka-dotty sleeping bag and nuzzled her head into her fuzzy green pillow. The full
day had tired her out to say the least, and she quickly fell into a calm and
dreamless sleep. When she awoke in the morning, she came to a horrible realization:
Lindsay's birthday was in less than a weel, and she hadn't yet gotten her a present!
Okay, I know I don't normally do a chapter without any real drama, but I was in need
of some comic relief. Like the chapter says, it's the crazy random chapter! I know,
the titles are getting a little bit lazy and could use some work. Whatever. Good
bye, all! See ya next time!
Last edited: 24 September 2008