Saturday, 20 September 2008
04:41:29 AM (GMT)
i miss him :'/
i miss how we would act when we were together.
how wed act so ridiculous but wouldnt care who was watching or what they thought..
how he'd hold me when i was sad or kiss me when i was sick
i miss when he would cuddle with me when my tummy hurt and kiss me to make it all
i miss his failed attempts at playing doctor xP
how he would do his best to make me feel better
and would make it his number one goal to make me smile
he always could
but now all he does is cause me pain....
i miss texting him day and night
and how we would call each other and stay up all night without saying a word, just
listening to each other breathe and wonder what the other was thinking...
i miss all the times when we would fall asleep on the other one with our phone glued
to our ears the next morning when we woke up, and rite when i would wake up he would
still be there listening to me snore my head off :]
i miss waking up to his
adorable beautiful face..
how we would go everywhere and do everything together
i miss all the jealous people that would stare at us as we walked around clinged to
each other in public places :/
i saw him with her yesterday :'/
i saw him standing with her after school staring at her like he's never seen anyone
the way he USED to look at ME.
i hate seeeing him gawk at her every chance he got.
he tells all his friends about her,
they all know her and they all talk to her.
but of course, they dont know me.
am i surprised?
not one bit :]
......i miss him so much :/
everything about him i miss.
i miss the way that when i was mad at him, he would try to make me forget the wrong
he had done with an i love you and a kiss.
i feel so stupid for ever taking him back,
even after all the lies.. and they way he would always talk about his ex gf in front
i miss all the random i love you's
i miss how he would text me right when he would wake up...
i miss when he said he missed me
and how i made him happy..
how i put a smile on his face...
and how he would stay up with me even when he couldnt bare to keep his eyes open for
how when i would fall asleep, i would open my eyes the next morning and there he
would be, wide awake waiting for me.. :/
i found out the other day.....that he had said the same thing to stephany.
how she made him happy.
i hated him for that.. :/
i couldnt believe it.
well actually, i could
and thats what hurt more.
that i could really believe it.
that it really could be true
... i told him last night that i was done....i was done wasting my time ona jackoff
how he'd hurt me so badly.....
and do u know what his reply was to that?
it tore me up inside.....
i couldnt believe it...
he really didnt care
after all the times that i thought we would last....
even my friends and family thought we would last....
my dad was right;boys are like buses: you miss one, youc an catch the next one.
he kept telling me that he was a waste of my time
but i didnt wanna believe him....
i should have though.
it would have saved me alot of tears and heartaches..
i love him so much...
i cant explain to him, myself, or ANYONE
my amount of love for him...
it would take eternity... <3
...and even after all the pain he has caused me...
im SO very thankful for his cold soul...
because without him...and the experiences ive had with him....
i wouldnt have gotten as far as i have in my life.
ive grown because of him
hes made me who i am today.
and i thank everyone whos been a part of my life.
without you, i wouldnt be where i am now.
and i love my life at the moment. <3