So, about me... Where to start? I'm not
all too complicated, nor am I simple (but who is?). I'm a bit of an open book, but
maybe this book is a bit hard to read because I'm often misunderstood. I am
versatile and strange, I don't fit in with some crowds and I don't know particularly
why. I strive for perfection, knowledge; I'm pedantic about æsthetics - I love
beauty, in much, much more than just people. If that makes me shallow then so be it,
because beauty is one of my most important inspirations in life, it's something I
wouldn't give up for absolutely anything. Beauty keeps me alive.
The way I interact with people will depend highly on who it is I'm talking to. If
you're someone I'm fond of, depending on the type of relationship we have, my tone
may soften or get more crude. Generally I'm quite blunt, any other personality I
have will reveal itself through your perception. "I am" doesn't exist, only "I am
perceived to be." How do you perceive me to be? Message me and find out! It's
impossible to sum everything up in a diary. But here are the basics, anyway.
I have blue eyes and two-toned brown/blonde (or is it orange?) hair. Light brown is
my natural hair colour, but I've gone from blonde to black to blonde and black again
a couple of times. I'm messing with blonde shades at the moment. I'm supposed to wear
glasses, but prefer not to. I don't really *need* them, but I certainly don't have
20/20 vision.
When I initially came to Kupika I was a Lifestyle Lolita. I
still practise the lifestyle, actually, but seldomly do I dress in full-fledged
Lolita anymore, instead I've taken a bright shine to hime-gyaru. I'm growing up, and
although hime-gyaru is not Lolita's "big sister", it's my next step. I run the gyaru club here on Kupika.
In my lifetime I've taken many, many different recreational activities. As a person
I tend to prefer to start things up rather than see things through to the end
(though that's always encouraging as well, just not as emotionally stimulating to
me). I've taken (in chronological order) classical ballet, jazz ballet, recorder,
skating, kick boxing, tae kwon do, vocal coaching, guitar, sewing and modelling. I
went back to ballet later in life but quit soon after again. Currently I'm doing
modelling to help me with grooming and deportment as well as some other fun, girly
stuff. Apart from physical activities, I'm really interested in languages. I love
how charming English can be when it's used properly and actually feel sad when
monolingual, native speakers use it poorly without caring to improve. I took a term
of French at technical college, and a semester at university which I found all too
intimidating, so now I'm considering tutoring for it. I am studying in my second
year of Japanese right now. In future I would like to learn Swedish, Latin,
Mandarin, Korean, Norwegian, Taiwanese, Croatian & Irish (both are my heritage), and
maybe German and Italian once I have a background in European language structure. I'm
avidly interested in language! I just wish I knew where to start online.. ^^; Jack of
all trades, huh?
My love life is wonderful right now. Since February of '06 I have been in the best
relationship I've ever had and a better one than I ever could have fathomed before
having met him. We're currently planning for our future together.
My mind is fleeting, I'm constantly changing my mind, my opinions, my morals, views
on life. Some are strong and some are weak, but I'm open to swaying even my
strongest ideas if something compels me so. I don't think this is a bad thing, for
life is a growing experience and every lesson learned gains me some wisdom and
knowledge that I didn't have before, which could sway many of my previous
judgements. Learning has a domino effect on your life, and you're always learning. I
love to learn, so it's a bit necessary for me to keep an open mind.
Questions! O-kayy!
» Do you like sports? - I like martial arts, classical dance (like classical
ballet and ballroom dancing) and figure skating. I've been known to like Soccer
before but I haven't played it since I was like 14 or 15. I would always bring a
note, every lesson, to P.E. in school! I'm not a very active person, but I like to
do martial arts, ballet and figure skating (though I do none of these recreationally
at the moment).
» What kind of music do you like? - I dabble in all sorts. Less in rap, but
I -like many- do have some exceptions.
I even like some country. Kids are way too quick to judge country.
Here's one of the songs I fell most in love with, all thanks to the below Cardcaptor
Sakura AMV:
» Your favourite food? - I don't like much food at all, really, though
despite this I do have a favourite dish. My favourites are crumb steak and beef
tenderloin. As you can see I am not a vegetarian, nor do I intend to start
being one. Many of my friends are vegetarians however, so please don't talk to me
about vegetarianism. If given the choice though, I would like to be able to live
off of sweets healthily. That would be amazing.
» Do you smoke? - I don't smoke, and I dislike that people smoke as an
outlet for their stress. There must be better ways to lessen the strain of stress,
and better tasting things to crave :P My mother has smoked for 30 years and knows
how much I hate it. I cough loudly when people around me in public areas smoke. If
people want to pollute their body, I don't mind if they do it in their own home, but
I don't like it. Spare me, please?
» Can you sing? - I sang much better when I was younger. I was always better
at belting out when I had a microphone in front of me, too; if it was switched off I
couldn't sing nearly as strongly, which was odd.. But now since I haven't trained my
voice properly, it isn't as good.
» Favourite movies? - Pirates of the Caribbean, A Walk To Remember, The Dark
Knight, Shimotsuma Monogatari, Silent Hill, Enchanted, Donnie Darko, The
Butterfly Effect, Momento. I suppose I can be fairly versatile.
» Favourite games? - Final Fantasy III and Pokémon. I wish I were a better
gamer! I'm bad at horror games though I love them. I'm better at simple, turn-based
adventure games, like Final Fantasy and Pokémon, heh. I'd love to play Dungeons &
Dragons, and Nightmare (pen & paper games), but I'm not sure how to go about this
all alone! I do play World of Warcraft since a lot of my friends do. I played this
when I was a pussy gamer once and didn't get far, so it's good to know I've grown up
a little since then.
» Favourite books? - I like classic literature. I like Oscar Wilde and a lot
of vampire fiction to the tune of Anne Rice. I'm reading Vanity Fair and The
Masqueraders at the moment, moving on to Jane Austen when that's done. I'll need to
start New Moon some time soon, but in no way do I find Stephanie Meyer's writing
style all too endearing. It's very vague and leaves a lot of the vitals up to the
reader's imagination... I follow loli_bookclub.
I also like shoujo-style manga and Ranma 1/2 ^^
» Are you an introvert or an extrovert? - It all comes back to who I'm
dealing with, really. I think I'm quite introversive (if only for my love for self
indulgences) but I haven't any qualms about being extroverted either. Besides my
company, it also depends on my mood (obviously). If I'm feeling vulnerable myself it
would be silly to cast myself into the limelight as any negativism would hurt me
dearly, but if I'm feeling self confident, nothing can hurt me, so why not throw
myself out there? I mentioned that my personality is fleeting: this is an example of
that.
» Love, romance or both? - Both, of course. Love exists in all of my
relationships in many different forms. Being the hopeless romantic I am I couldn't
bare to be without romance, but even though I'm like this, I couldn't give up
everyone else's love.
» What do you see in other people? - First impressions are important, and
though I'm not entirely proud of it, I do judge on them (who doesn't?). I judge
people immediately based on their gestures, speech or typing. Luckily, this is
easily rectified by speaking to the person in question. If it's someone I don't
think I'll ever know, I'm happy to judge in my head and move on. Online it isn't so
simple and I tend to speak my mind frequently, and bluntly. I'd appreciate others to
be open-minded to forms of expression but I've been let down a lot in this area.
Likewise with the quality of friendship. When I accept someone and become friends
with them, I consider it an achievement and a wonderful addition to my life. I don't
agree with people bluntly asking people they don't know to be their friend, and the
ask-ee accepting. That isn't friendship, and I hate that society today is so
number-obsessed! I value quality over quantity. People today lack basic morals and
values, and tend not to have manners, which is something that has influenced my
quick judgment. Ladies and gentlemen are no more, as feminism dominates every
gentlemanly act and ups ladies' social or business defense. Children cannot be
disciplined and do not learn from many admirable people. People are selfish,
close-minded, defensive, biased. Not everybody, of course... But this is what I've
noticed from the general "stranger" public I've observed. The days of people helping
that little old lady cross the road or carry her shopping to her car are long gone;
she's too scared you'll mug her, steal her car, murder her. People don't give the
benefit of the doubt, and what's sadder still is that they can't. You can't trust
people, and this one little fact makes me feel horrible and makes me hate living in
the detached, dog-eat-dog world that I do. This is also why I'm a bit of a cynic at
times; I will let first impressions do the work for me and think the worst of
people. Much of the time it's easier to keep low expectations of people, so when I
eventually am given kindness it will feel that much warmer.
» Love: What is it? - There are different kinds and sub-categories, and
likewise, different people love in different ways. Romantic love is the most
special, for it's truly a sacred thing to find someone you're willing to give your
all for, to have that feeling returned is simply amazing. Friendly love is the next
on my personal list - friends are the family we are allowed to choose, they say.
There are so many different levels of love in this one level alone, and it too is
special - true friendship is admirable and inspiring. Family love, then, which is
the very first we meet when we come into this world. It nurtures us and helps us
grow into adults, it assists us when our other love fails, it's always there and it
doesn't die. I'm not sure I believe all of this, but I know I would like to. There
are other types of love in the world and they're all amazing. I believe that you can
never truly learn about yourself until you learn about others, and thus, everyone
should leap into love and nurture it properly.
» Do you believe in God? - No, I don't. It's as simple as that. I like to
study different systems of belief and find great pleasure in attempting to debunk
things like this - always have done - and even more pleasure in trying to figure it
out when all debunking has been done and has failed. I love the paranormal, but I'm
not a woman of faith in either respects. I believe that if I were to give in to and
worship a God, I would lose faith in myself, and the freedom to think and do what I
like. I'm an immoral person; the last thing I want is to be haunted by imagery of
going to hell for sins I've committed freely. The important thing here is that I
respect those who believe in God; please respect that I do not.
