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This diary entry is written by sophiem105. ( View all entries )

LilyCategory: (general)
Wednesday, 21 March 2007
04:51:27 PM (GMT)
Right I am writing a horror story at school and I want to know if it is good so here
is the first part.

Chapter 1 - Told by Lily : 6 years old, 1996

"Mummy", I shouted. No reply. "Daddy", I shouted. Still no reply. I ran through every
room in the house, where were they? " Stop hiding!" I whined, "It's not funny!". The
only room left was the kitchen, I'm not allowed in the kitchen in case I burn or cut
myself. I didn't know what to do, should i go in?
The kitchen light was turned off, so I got my torche from the stairs. "Mummy?" I
whispered, "Daddy?". My foot banged into something, it was soft. I looked

There you go that is chapter 1. Please tell me what you think.

Faith says:   21 March 2007   429336  
good so far, not as suspenseful as it could be, and i would use a lot
more descriptive words to add to the suspense.
mikacaur says:   21 March 2007   817358  
WOW coolz!!!!!! where is chapter two?
sophiem105 says:   23 March 2007   884613  
i will rite chapter 2 l8ta so watch this space. thanks for the tips
hannahbanana06 says:   26 March 2007   863769  
ye, im lookin forward 2 chapter 2
sophiem105 says :   26 March 2007   913343  


Next entry: Lily : Chapter 2 in category (general)
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