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This diary entry is written by IntelligentBeauty. ( View all entries )
 
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My Love Letter to KupikaCategory: Good-bye, sweet prince.
Wednesday, 15 July 2020
07:16:28 AM (GMT)
My Love Letter to Kupika
This is going to probably be very long, very dramatic and probably very cringy, but it's just something I feel like I need to do. As pathetic as this sounds, I need closure. This site was such a big part of my life growing up and it will be extremely hard officially letting it go. I've let it go in many ways, but this is incredibly different. I joined Kupika on exactly December 2nd, 2006. 13 years, 5 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day ago. I was 11 years old. My first account was Iesha210--back when I actually tried to (at least partially) hide my identity with a "fake" name like my parents told me to. I found it after it was advertised on dressupgames.com. Anonymous penpals around the world. I was like pretty much any other 11-year old kid. I was a liar, lol. The first thing I ever did here was pretend I knew Spanish, when really I was just copying and pasting sentences from Google Translate. I loved anime, thought I was smarter than everyone else. I loved to talk about myself and I loved to write. That's the thing about being young. You love a lot of things. You just have so much light and creativity inside you, and I really envy that about my former self. Before I came on Kupika, I spent a lot of time reading. I became obsessed with the R.L. Stein Goosebumps book series and as a result, I became obsessed with writing really terrible horror stories on here. [I decided to open up all my old diaries on my Iesha210 account, so feel free to dabble in them there (http://kupika.com/browsediaries.php?id=Iesha210&cat=ALL)--they are truly horrendous.] To my delight, other kids on here really enjoyed them, so I fancied myself a bit of a writer extraordinaire and my head grew about 5 sizes more. I loved a lot of things, but Kupika was where I grew to love art. I already loved anime, but I never really tried to truly learn the style until I came here. Sashikinoneko (http://kupika.com/Sashikinoneko and later http://kupika.com/Naive) was the person who lit that fire in me. I absolutely adored her art. I don't even know how many hours I would scroll through her drawings, pressing the "how to draw" link above her oekakis and watching the video over and over again to see exactly how she drew her lines or put colour on her pieces. I tried to follow it as best as I could, but I only had a computer mouse and I was NOT proficient with it in the slightest. I loved doing it though. To see my old shitty art, go to http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Iesha210. For many years after this, the Oekaki board was where I spent the majority of my time. There were many artists that inspired me. Here's an incomplete list if you need a bit of a blast from the past while we still have time (in no particular order): 1. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=nirrum 2. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=JimPi AKA http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=PencilPirate (one of the first people I considered a friend on this site--although I was probably more of an annoying super fan more than anything else, lol) 3. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Mewmewkitten 4. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=darkoekaki 5. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Akami 6. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=DoOp (was an especially huge fan of this girl--one of my favourites) 7. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=AerithLight 8. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Usanny (one of my faves as well) 9. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=KokiriForest 10. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Jacutiepie14 11. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=stickyrice 12. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Verte and http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Jaune (one of my faves--I tried to mimic her art heavily, lol) 13. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Neriko (one of my faves) There's a lot more out there, but I was unfortunately unable to link some of them because they either privated their art or deleted their account entirely. One of these people that I have to mention is http://kupika.com/yanely_a_la_mode. She was definitely one of my favourite artists and I also credit her entirely in helping me design my profiles because of her fantastically comprehensive CSS tutorials. She had no duty to help us with it, but she did it anyway. I can only hope that they were able to save their art before they left because even from the small thumbnails I've seen, they still hold up. Unfortunately, that's where the really vividly nostalgic memories end. Attempting to make this post has really highlighted how much the memories have faded. But, the feelings remain. Kupika is me sitting at my desktop computer in the basement, fighting for a few hours of screen time between me, my sister and my brother. Kupika is me in the computer lab in middle school/junior high, drawing this stupid thing (http://kupika.com/oekaki.php?id=z45cbb8efe6e401amt2n) and being surprised/delighted about the reception. Kupika is me opening the Oekaki board and seeing a dozen new drawings for me to discover and appreciate. Kupika is oekakis and diaries getting dozens upon dozens of comments and engagement from an overwhelmingly kind and friendly user base. Well, that's 2006-2011 Kupika, at least. Of course, Kupika was not all sunshine and roses, and I was fighting a lot of demons before and after its Golden Years. When I was younger, it was me dealing with being bullied by my sister, being uncomfortable in my own skin and an unrequited crush. Then, it became talking to the wrong people, having pointless fights and trying to be someone I'm not to fit in. This site brings up a lot of good and bad memories, but I think that's what makes it special to me. It's a collection of my mistakes, my strides, my passions and my failures. It's hard letting it go, but I know I'm holding onto a past that doesn't really exist anymore and it's time to move--even if I'm not doing it by my own volition, lol. ...I'm gonna miss this site a lot. If you would like to go through a collection of the dumb shit I've written/drawn during my time here, here are the links (I've made a lot of my diaries/oekakis public again to celebrate the end of an era--also I'll probably not see most/all of you again, so why not embarrass myself): - http://kupika.com/browsediaries.php?id=Iesha210&cat=ALL - http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Iesha210 - http://kupika.com/browsediaries.php?id=IntelligentBeauty&cat=ALL - http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=IntelligentBeauty All my alt accounts (which I used to kidnap a lot of my own art back in the day, lmaooo): - Iesha210 - xXMLG_BoNgHiTz_420Xx (when I was knee deep in my Rooster Teeth phase--don't worry, it was an ironic username from the very beginning) (JBL = just blaze) - 5evertired - _MAPS_SPAM_ (I have other art on this account if you want to see it) - Aeisha - almonds - antisocial - Katy_The_Penguin_Of_Doom - lizzybeth213 - lurkerr - MelMyaMelody - MockInYourCouth - TheLovelyLittleOne - tiramisu - GoInsane - MUSICMAN - BurntToast - BrainSoup - KupikanStar - AvailabilityIsNone - Jaylynn - happybunnygirlly - Everlasting_ - BrownSugar - XxNaomiXNightxX (I have no excuse for this one, I made this back when I thought usernames like this were cool) Shout-out to: - JimPi --for being the first person I ever talked to on this site - lamb_rissa --for being a Bloody Halls super fan
Last edited: 17 July 2020

Comments 
pussydestroyer says:   15 July 2020   729450  
this is the sweetest thing ive ever read
it would be nice to add you elsewhere
 
IntelligentBeauty says:   15 July 2020   416127  
@pussydestroyer 
I'm glad you liked it. (:
To be honest, I was going to scrap it because I felt like I couldn't
really articulate my feelings, but I'm glad it was coherent enough for
you to enjoy.

I really liked your love letter as well. Bittersweet is the best
description.


I don't really have any active social media unfortunately, but if you
really want to reach out to me:
- Skype: sugarmintangel
- E-mail: patisseriexox@hotmail.com
- Instagram: pastryxox
- Twitter: PatisserieXOX
- Snapchat: genie996

Other than that, it's just Facebook Messenger or text message
(WhatsApp, Telegram).

Whatever works best for you, really! 
 
crazyhot says:   15 July 2020   338976  
 
IntelligentBeauty says :   15 July 2020   671574  
@crazyhot 
Oh God. 
 

 
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