Wednesday, 15 July 2020
07:16:28 AM (GMT)
My Love Letter to
This is going to probably be very long, very dramatic and probably very cringy, but
it's just something I feel like I need to do.
As pathetic as this sounds, I need closure. This site was such a big part of my life
growing up and it will be extremely hard officially letting it go. I've let it go in
many ways, but this is incredibly different.
I joined Kupika on exactly December 2nd, 2006. 13 years, 5 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day
ago. I was 11 years old.
My first account was Iesha210--back when I actually tried to (at least partially)
hide my identity with a "fake" name like my parents told me to.
I found it after it was advertised on dressupgames.com. Anonymous penpals around
I was like pretty much any other 11-year old kid. I was a liar, lol. The first thing
I ever did here was pretend I knew Spanish, when really I was just copying and
pasting sentences from Google Translate.
I loved anime, thought I was smarter than everyone else. I loved to talk about myself
and I loved to write.
That's the thing about being young. You love a lot of things. You just have so much
light and creativity inside you, and I really envy that about my former self.
Before I came on Kupika, I spent a lot of time reading. I became obsessed with the
R.L. Stein Goosebumps book series and as a result, I became obsessed with writing
really terrible horror stories on here.
[I decided to open up all my old diaries on my Iesha210 account, so feel free to
dabble in them there (http://kupika.com/browsediaries.php?id=Iesha210&cat=ALL)--they
are truly horrendous.]
To my delight, other kids on here really enjoyed them, so I fancied myself a bit of a
writer extraordinaire and my head grew about 5 sizes more.
I loved a lot of things, but Kupika was where I grew to love art. I already loved
anime, but I never really tried to truly learn the style until I came here.
Sashikinoneko (http://kupika.com/Sashikinoneko and later
http://kupika.com/Naive) was the person who lit that fire in me.
I absolutely adored her art. I don't even know how many hours I would scroll through
her drawings, pressing the "how to draw" link above her oekakis and watching the
video over and over again to see exactly how she drew her lines or put colour on her
I tried to follow it as best as I could, but I only had a computer mouse and I was
NOT proficient with it in the slightest. I loved doing it though. To see my old
shitty art, go to http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Iesha210.
For many years after this, the Oekaki board was where I spent the majority of my
time. There were many artists that inspired me.
Here's an incomplete list if you need a bit of a blast from the past while we still
have time (in no particular order):
2. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=JimPi AKA
http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=PencilPirate (one of the first people I considered a
friend on this site--although I was probably more of an annoying super fan more than
anything else, lol)
6. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=DoOp (was an especially huge fan of this
girl--one of my favourites)
8. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Usanny (one of my faves as well)
12. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Verte and http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Jaune
(one of my faves--I tried to mimic her art heavily, lol)
13. http://kupika.com/oekakis.php?id=Neriko (one of my faves)
There's a lot more out there, but I was unfortunately unable to link some of them
because they either privated their art or deleted their account entirely. One of
these people that I have to mention is http://kupika.com/yanely_a_la_mode. She was
definitely one of my favourite artists and I also credit her entirely in helping me
design my profiles because of her fantastically comprehensive CSS tutorials. She had
no duty to help us with it, but she did it anyway.
I can only hope that they were able to save their art before they left because even
from the small thumbnails I've seen, they still hold up.
Unfortunately, that's where the really vividly nostalgic memories end. Attempting to
make this post has really highlighted how much the memories have faded.
But, the feelings remain.
Kupika is me sitting at my desktop computer in the basement, fighting for a few hours
of screen time between me, my sister and my brother.
Kupika is me in the computer lab in middle school/junior high, drawing this stupid
and being surprised/delighted about the reception.
Kupika is me opening the Oekaki board and seeing a dozen new drawings for me to
discover and appreciate.
Kupika is oekakis and diaries getting dozens upon dozens of comments and engagement
from an overwhelmingly kind and friendly user base.
Well, that's 2006-2011 Kupika, at least.
Of course, Kupika was not all sunshine and roses, and I was fighting a lot of demons
before and after its Golden Years.
When I was younger, it was me dealing with being bullied by my sister, being
uncomfortable in my own skin and an unrequited crush. Then, it became talking to the
wrong people, having pointless fights and trying to be someone I'm not to fit in.
This site brings up a lot of good and bad memories, but I think that's what makes it
special to me. It's a collection of my mistakes, my strides, my passions and my
It's hard letting it go, but I know I'm holding onto a past that doesn't really exist
anymore and it's time to move--even if I'm not doing it by my own volition, lol.
...I'm gonna miss this site a lot.
If you would like to go through a collection of the dumb shit I've written/drawn
during my time here, here are the links (I've made a lot of my diaries/oekakis public
again to celebrate the end of an era--also I'll probably not see most/all of you
again, so why not embarrass myself):
All my alt accounts (which I used to kidnap a lot of my own art back in the day,
- xXMLG_BoNgHiTz_420Xx (when I was knee deep in my Rooster Teeth phase--don't worry,
it was an ironic username from the very beginning) (JBL = just blaze)
- _MAPS_SPAM_ (I have other art on this account if you want to see it)
- XxNaomiXNightxX (I have no excuse for this one, I made this back when I thought
usernames like this were cool)
- JimPi --for being the first person I ever talked to on this site
- lamb_rissa --for being a Bloody Halls super fan
Last edited: 17 July 2020