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This diary entry is written by Yori_Clair_Voyant. ( View all entries )

Pro Ana???Category: Ana and Mia
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
07:30:58 PM (GMT)
I'm so sick of people asking me, "WHY ARE YOU SO SKINNY? ლ(Ø益Øლ)" Because I'm really not. Not compared to some people. And I've been worried about my weight since I was in first grade. (Not to be hating on anime, but I remember my dream was to be skinny like an anime girl. Pretty unhealthy.) And my mom wanted me to take these pills my doctor recommended because I was so underweight. And they made me fat. And of course, I was having none of that. So I probably was anorexic (or close to it) in third grade. Is that a record or something? Ha..˘ Anyway, I eventually lost weight again, and I still struggle with it. I'll be honest; it's stressful as hell. But you know what? Skinny looks good. It's my opinion, (call me sick, I don't care) that thin is beautiful. So you can see all her ribs, you're grossed out? Heh... I think she's looks amazing. But I don't hate fat people or anything. Or even think they're unattractive. I just could never live like that. The truth is.. You won't die from a day without food. You won't starve after two. Or three. Or four. In a way, losing weight by such an extreme method can give you a feeling of power. Or control. And sometimes, control is the only thing that keeps a person alive, even though it is meaningless in the end. You don't have to worry about your problems. The only thing you have to worry about is being skinny. It starts with a decision: You could eat that pizza. Or you could not. You just have to rephrase the question: "Are you going to intentionally add to your weight? OR are you going to refuse? " The only dangerous thing is that when you become anorexic you have to completely change your mindset. And that can be nearly impossible to undo, once you get used to it. Once you make skinny your priority, food your enemy, and weight loss your forever-unobtainted goal, it's hard to stop thinking that way. That's why people lose too much weight and die. The trick is to be in control, to be able to switch it off. Is that possible? For some people. (Will edit. ^^)
Last edited: 3 November 2011

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