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This diary entry is written by ‹JaredAlpacalecki›. ( View all entries )
 
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Sam.Category: (general)
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
04:16:05 PM (GMT)
rant.
           Sam you're the most important person to me right now. I love you in a 360
view, there are many angles to it. You don't even know. Anybody fucks with you and
you know, I'll walk there if I have to and kick their ass. You're the only goddamn
reason I haven't put that barrel in my mouth cocked it and pulled the trigger. You
make me happy, but you piss me off more than anybody else, I depend on you more than
most, but if I had to I could easily up and leave you. I've done a lot of shit for
you to try and give you everything. Next time you fuck up after I beg you not to do
something, that's where it ends. The only reason I stayed when I found out you
continued talking to "JASON" was because, quite frankly, I couldn't get a ride home.
I'm not going to filter this for you because that's not how I am.
I don't get close to other people because I'm sick of getting hurt, and I thought
that you would at least listen to me. When have I been wrong Sam? And then you
promised me something and turned around and hooked up with that whore anyways. Not
long after I visit you and kiss you, and then I remember where those lips have been.
Dammit. 
Ever since that I haven't been able to trust you with everything completely because
I'm scared of you driving that down the drain again and letting me down. I know how
sorry you were, and are, but it.. That doesn't make it okay, alright? There's nothing
you can do to change it and that's the end of that.
I know I sound controlling, and an arrogant ass and dick and shit, but I've done
everything for you. I'm always on the run to get to you and see you and when we don't
talk for a couple of hours you think I'm mad at you or something when really, I need
me time. I love you, I do but personal space dude. 
You get jealous when I even think about another person and it bothers the piss out of
me. I don't know why, but you make me just as jealous with the people you like and
liked. Hell, I get jealous when you talk about celebrities. Sounds pretty bad right?
I can't keep this all bottled up for to long and if I don't spit it out now I'm going
to explode. I exploded on Joey, and if you would have been in the room when I hounded
him up that tree it wouldn't have been pretty. I hold a lot of shit in around you,
and you don't fucking know it because I lock it away and ignore it like it's nothing
to please you. But I hate it when you hide things, and really.. Our relationship is
pretty fucked up. I have no idea what the fuck is going on anymore and it pisses me
off.

No living person has the right to forgive, and only the dead can forget.

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