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This diary entry is written by Biihtei. ( View all entries )
 
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I wanna hear your voice~Category: (general)
Wednesday, 1 December 2010
02:59:11 AM (GMT)
STILL EFFING SICK SINCE TURKAY DAY BREAK FIRST STARTED (AKA LAST EFFING TUESDAY, SO
AKA I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER YO.)
OHKAY SO HEARS THE DEALOI.
DID SCIENCE FAIR-BACTERIA GOT ME SICK FROM BREATHIN IT IN.
GOT STREP THROAT and HIGH TEMPERATURE.
SLEPT AN ENTIRE DAY OF MY LIFE AWAY.
FINNALY FEEL A LIL BETTER THAN WHAMOOOO. 
I WAKE UP ALL NORMAL ONE DAY THINKING "OHGREAT AND POWERFUL BOWIEGOD-I'VE BEEN
HEALED! HALLELUJAH!!"
GO shoppnig and junk then in the middle of the day I don't feel so well-so I take it
a lil easier then I just start to feel like a big 'ol pile of shiatttttt.
I'm losing my voice-NOT ONLY THAT but I have LARYNGITIS AND
BRONCHITIS.
AND SUPPOSEDLY I' HAVE ANEMIA!!  DX
WHUT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?
you gauise ;---;
I might have to take more pills again-antibiotics or whateve... and I've been on and
off with Day-Quill and NightQuil. or whatever they're called these days but yeah!
so today started out pretty 'OK' right?
went to school with crappy voice looking crappy w/ all my cold sores and pimple <3
People constantly went "awhhh I feel so bad for her! she can barely speak!" 
then 2nd block Social studies we played a review game for our test tomorrow 
(Jeopardy) and I HAD to call out the answer.
LUCKILY I KNEW the answers to my questions so yay :>
My teacher was all "You get sick over break?"
"yeahhh, I've been sick since last Tuesday..."
"Then why you at school?-You just love it that much-right?"
"Actually-yeah.."
These people don't understand.
I HAVE NO LIFE OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL.
NONE.
WHAT SO EVERRRRR.
friends felt bad for me at FIRST-then they just started making fun of me ;^;
Yeah, like that helps at ALL, JERKSSSS.
Then in BAND they made me scoot over next to the trombones 'cuz thats where i'm
"suppose to be"
gahh I miss the trumpet section!
Sure, they may be perverted and loud-but... at least they're not that annoying, Loud,
and spit everywhere...
and at least one of mah frands is a trumpet player ;.;
so now i'm all alone behind alto sax's, with the one guy I tried to avoid-now he's
constantly turning around cracking jokes.
"I AM SOOO HAPPY TODAY!"-my friend Case.
"Ohyeah-why's that?"-me
"I DUNNO WHY I JUST AM~!"-Case.
"Is it because she's slowly losing her voice?" -Michael
"HAHAHAHAHA MAYBE!!"-Case.
 me- D=
---
"SHUSH CASEY! I CAN HARDLY HEAR MAHSELF THINK!!"-me
"NO YOU!" -Case.
"Now make sure you actually play the notes and not just fingering them!" -band
director
"like Brittnie?"-America.
"I ACTUALLY PLAYED SO SHUSH!!"
"yeah right"-America
"I DID! YOU KNOW WUT? I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU TODAY OR TO MARROW IM'MA GONNA AVOID
YOU."-me
"noooo!!! I'll take your stuff! Then you'll HAVE to talk to me!"-America
"nope."-me.
"I know how to make her talk-and smile!"-Michael
"Shudup-do not."-me
"SMILEEEEEEE" -Casey
"..." -me
"..."-Michael
then I just HAD to smile for some stooid reason and he was all "see????? I'm
genius-and I can ALWAYS make her smile and laugh!"
shutupyew. Just go talk to your girlfriend about airplanes or something.
gym was when I started to feel REALLY bad!!
during the middle of our basket-ball game my stomach started to hurt-but 'course no
one noticed-nor cared. </3
so I just ignored it-sort of.
Anyways-afterwards, it was over and we all had to go change.
idunno why, but my heart started to hurt, REALLY bad!!
So i sat on a bend for a while , eyes closed-just sitting there holding my head-then
I realiszed almost everyone was gone and I still had to change so I got up real quick
and a girl who was still in there apperently had been watching me.
"Hey Brittnie-are you okay?"
*nod*"Y-yeah, I'm fine."
"you sure"
"yeah"
"You look like your about to faint."
"hah, d-do I really?.... I'm sorry..."
Another few girls come over and look at me then just leave.
"I'm fine, really."
no. It hurt like hell man. my chest/lungs/heart.
So there were still some people-maybe 3-5?yeah sounds right.
I went to go look in the mirror-and that one girl said "maybe you should drink some
water"
"'kay I will after I change"
she left and I went to look in the mirror-to see if I really did look like I was
gonna pass-out.
I looked Paler than normal, and you could see the shadows really clearly under my
eyes.
My haert has been hurting really badd.
Like-too the point where I almost started crying.
I then laid my head down against the wall and then another girl who I guess I can
sort of call a school-friend, we talk sometimes, anyways....
she asked me if I was ok.
"Yeah...I'm fine.."
"Are you sure?"
"yeah"
Lies.
but how can people feel so bad for me then say "just don't breathe on me" it pisses
me off greatly.
Sister had practice again tonight-god it lasted FOREVERRR.
and my heart hurt even worse so i just sorta sat there and clutched at my shirt for
half the practice-and some girl and her mom though I was asleep. lol
but afterwards-I talked to Dyleanny and Jacob (:
they were being nice to me which made me feel better.
I KNOW I shouldn't come to school tomorrow but-I HAVE TOO!
I have a big test in social studies and in gym we have our insanity workout.
If i miss the test I have to do a make-up project and if i miss the insanity workout
i have to run a mile.
So I can't, Even If i'm dying-I'll still go to school tomorrow-my grades depend on
it, specially since i'm a dumbass and am failing the class I REALLY don't wanna take
again. I'll probably go into another really deep depression and wanna kill myself if
I fail that class-thats how bad I DON'T wanna fail and retake it.
And i'm already so stressed out by school and life and bleahhhh.
I actually had a mentally/physical breakdown and just ended up crying a little small
bit after gym when no one was around.
I haven't cried in a while so it felt weird.
OH! 
Have you ever seen what a pear or apple looks like when it's rotting?
...

Thats what my tonsils look like-they're even a little brown-which to tell you the
truth.
scares me to death.
I mean-REALLY! If I can't even Handel them taking out a tooth without needing
laughing gas-a few nurses, crying my effing eyes out and such-how the HELL are they
going to remove my TONSILS?!?! no, it just really scares me. 
Hospitals, dentists, nurses, doctors, nursing homes.
herr-I almost cried at the thought of getting my tonsils removed.
dearbowiegod-hope i don't brake down at school.
People are already "you shouldn't be here, go home-you'll just get everyone sickkk,
don't breathe on me"
Maybe i'll just go jump off an effing bridge, eh? D<
gahrhgjhfk; i don't wanna talk bout this anymore.
I hate being so goddarn emotional all the time-I hate being a gurl.
~Biihtei


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