Monday, 15 March 2010
11:47:15 AM (GMT)
I juggled the sobbing baby in my arms, whispering a sweet lullaby in his ears.
Sebastian said something, then reached for Estaban, the baby. Who in the hell names
their child Estaban anyway? She couldn't think of anything else. I need to change his
name...DJ, SJ....Jace.....nooo, doesn't work. And not my child. Uhhhh, ehhh,
Sebastian is 'Bastian', so he is.....Slash.
"Shhh. Hush little Slash....Auntie's gonna buy you a sledgehammer, with which you
could bash," I sung. "Then Jace's hands, little one you can mash. Then take his head
and bang it against a wall, and if he's dead, then that is all."
To my delight, Slash started to laugh and giggle, and he rested against my
boobs--well, he's straight--and was quiet for the minute. "Explain," I commanded
Sebastian, sitting on the sofa.
"He's two years old...uuh, Tanya became pregnant with him when she was seventeen, a
year older than me. It was two years ago, and well I didn't use protection...which
sucked because now I'm a daddy. And don't tell Mom or Dad or anybody else. It's your
child, okay? For right now anyway."
Smart idea. They're totally not going to realize that I wasn't pregnant for about
nine months....especially when I was fourteen. I knew I was a bit big back them, but
somebody should've noticed if I was pregnant.
"Yeah, whatever, Bastian....fine. I'm takin' him to school tomorrow."
"Okay." And he went upstairs, leaving me with Slash.
I jiggled Slash on my hips, trying to get him to stop crying in the middle of the
hallway from all the kids crowding around. Good God. I'm not having kids. This boy
kept my up all damn night...ugh.
I yawned. "Slash, murder Jace," I told him. For some reason, this baby loved
violence. Me and him get along pretty damn great.
Jace paused. "Is that mine?"
"Oh yeah, Jace. Totally. Because I pulled a Bella Swan and made love to a vampire
and now my baby is two years old in a period of two weeks. That shit really happens,
let me tell you," I said. I didn't even put induced sarcasm. I am maturing...look at
me and my bad self. (:
He froze. "How'd you find out I was a vampire?"
For a minute, I allowed myself to actually think he was a vampire. But then common
sense returned and I just glared at him. "You jackass, don't lie like
that....vampires don't exist in real life." I know, Stephanie Meyer and her deranged
vampires would beg to differ because obviously, sparkling gay vampires totally
exist....you know, that's why that guy in your class never comes to school when it's
sunny. Not because he has a sun diases or something, but because he's a....wait for
it....big breath......GAY SPARKLING VAMPIRE!
"They do exist. I swear to it," Jace said with a sly smirk. "I'll show you
tonight." He flashed me a sharp-toothed grin....and vampires have fangs! They do,
they do, they do! Not like Edward Cullen because he's a gay sparkling vampire...and
that scene in New Moon where they did the gay skip hop...okay, I'll stop ragging on
"Yummy," I said, winking at him.