Tuesday, 19 August 2008
03:26:30 AM (GMT)
Note: I apologise for the bad-ness.
There are typoes and grammer mistakes.
I'm in a writers block, but I want to write...Does that make sence?
Meaning, it isn't my best work.
Well, I hope you enjoy.
Attention Defecite Disorder. Thats the name they gave my 'problem'. Apparently,
its a challenge for me to pay attention to anything for any leagth of consecutive
time. Is it still a disorder if I do it on purpose? Am I still not normal if I
know I'm not paying attention. Sometimes I really have to question the mental
capability of the people who diagnose other people with learning disabilities. If
they where so smart, wouldn't they know I let my mind wander? Its become
habbit, I can stop it, but I don't like to. When I start to actualy pay attention to
anything it brings back memories. Memories I've spent nearly a century
supressing. By letting my mind wander to insignificant things! See? No problem here.
Instead of paying attention to what people say, I listen to thier voices, trying
to learn diffrent ways of describing them. For example, the old sweaty guy sitting at
the desk in front of me, trying to find me another foster family, sounds like
his heart could give at any moment, and from the sounds of his heart, it prabably
could. He has a very noticable rasp in his voice, like the kind someone who has been
smoking for a long time has. He also had a very distinct body odor. It was B.O. mixed
with cigar smoke and Jack Daniels.
I hated coming to this place and seeing the old sweaty guy, the deprissing dark
room with desk everywhere that had papers covering every inch of them. This room
meant going to another family. Another family that didn't want me; addopted me, but
changed their mind. It doesn't bother me much anymore. I got used to it after, about,
the seventh family. Today, I'm on my eleventh family. There has got to be a
record for this kinda thing.
I would never make friends at the family's houses, but thats because I would
never go outside. No one ever enrolled me in a school, either, but I know all about
history and math and sciene and everything they teach at school. Ms. McGarth, one of
the people who adopted me once, tutored me and a high-school senior level. she was
possible my favorite home. she had a cat named 'Marsh' and he was the friendliest cat
in the world. He would sit on my desk when Ms. McGarth would give me lessons. The
reason I had to come back here from custody, is because she died of a heart-attack.
But, any gurdian is better than my origional ones. They werent parent, they
where pigs, disguised as humans. they where fat, smelly, and ate too much. I'm not
even sure they where my real family. They had tan skin-somewhere under all the
dirt-, black beady eyes and dark, dark hair that was always knotted and greasy. I
wouldn't know that they took baths if I didn't have to help. Thats an experiance I
never, ever want to revisist. On the other hand, I had light skin-That tends to
happen when you never step foot outside for sixteen years-and dull blue eyes. My hair
was wavy and more of a dirty blonde. I'm not sure my parents even named me.
They where carless, sloppy, ignorant and had poor manners. I was almost extactic
when they died in the fire. It was prabably too much work for them to get out and
save their lives.
I'm not sure how or why I survived. My parents chain me to my bed wiht the
windows nailed shut at night...I tried to run away once. Someone would have had to go
thought the fire, pull the chain appart and carry me to the bathroom, where I woke
up. Now, I'm not the heaviest person around, but I'm not the lightest, eather.But,
since I woke up then, things havent been the same.
My appearance changed, my appaetite changed, my voice change, My sences became
charper and apparently I developed Attention Defecite Disorder. Any time I tried to
decipher what happened, I would anger myself. Wich is why I think about other things.
My remembering was interupted by the old sweaty guy.
"Hey, you" He always called me "C'mere" I left my only bag on the bench and
walked over to his desk and leaned on it.
"What'cha got for me this time, Fred?" I always called him that. He never told
me his real name. He didn't even have a name-plate or anything. I woundered why that
is. All the other desks have one. "Abusive parents? Child molesting siblings? Dirt
poor family that lives on the street? Oh! You havent given me a criminal family
He was grumbling incoherently now. Although he was trying to come across and
angry, he wasn't saying anything but random gibberish. Would you like to buy a
vowel?, I though. He sighed and went into his routine speach.
"The Jasper Family would like to adopt you. The mother is Tess Jasper-Thirty one
years of age-, the father is Adam Jasper-thiry four years of age-, and the daughter
is Rebecca Jasper-seventeen years of age. They are the third richest family in the
state. Would you like Tess and Adam to be your gurdians?" He said, the bordome was
think in his raspy voice. I woundered how many times he repeted this daily. There
where children everywhere.
"Sign me up, man!" I said and slapped his desk. He was typing on his ancient
computer as he dialed a phone number.
"Hello, is Mr. or Mrs. Jasper present?" I asked, his tone suddenly bright. I
could hear the person on the other line.
"MOM! PHONE!" The girl yelled. That must have been the daughter. It had a
strange pitch to it.
"Hello?" Said a woman. Her voice was very motherly.
"Uh, yes, Mrs. Jasper. I have Elizabeth here. She has agreed to come to join
your family" Elizabeth. I liked it. This one seemed to fit me.
"Really?! Can I talk to her?" The woman said, her voice rising in pitch out of
"Ummm, I'm afraid shes in the bathroom now. Shes getting cleaned up for your
appointment with her" He said and shooed me away. I shot him a thumbs up and grabbed
my bag to go change and get cleaned up.
It was a suprise to me that the bathrooms where nice. I examined my outfit, a
black hoody, dark-wash skiny jeans and black converse all-stars. I'd jsut changed
into this about five hours ago. I shrugged and put on a light-wash pair of skinny
jeans, and a white quarter- sleeve thermal shirt. I slid my feet into a pair of white
flats. This was my special outfit for meeting new families. It was always clean and
bright. It made my saphire-blue eyes stand out and made my skin look more human that
the normal ivory color that it is.
I didn't like anything that wasn't tightly fitted. Lose clothes where more
weight to slow me down. Tighter clothes where easier to run in. I'd learned that with
family number four; the couple with an R.S.O. as a brother. I'll call the man Stu, I
forget his name. He looked like a Stu, though. He was in the army, so he had a
buzz-cut and a menacing scar down his neck. I knew there was something strange about
him and the way he looked at me.
* * *
"Hey. Alicia."-my name at the time-"Lets go for a ride" Stu said. I eyed his
"Why? Where to?" I asked.
"To get a bite to eat" He said, opening the front door. Even though his bite to
eat and my bite to eat where two totaly diffrent things, I went along with him. He
was playing loud rap music. I swear, if it where possible, my ears would have bled. I
hated that gaudy music.
I began to get suspicious when he turned onto a low trffic road, from there he
turned onto a country road, and from there a dirt path. He immidiatly stopped the car
and his hand was around my neck.
Well, for Stu, not me. This happened before. When my body feel thretened, it
I let out a feirce his through my teeth, wich where snapping at his neck. His
pulse sped, thrumming in my ears.
"Relax. Relax" He said, but the fear was plain on his face. I started seeing
everything in purple. I could see the sweet liquid pulsing through his veins. I
"Relax, babe. Everythings alright." He whispered. A plan formulated, suddenly.
Simple, but brilliant. I relaxed my muscles, all of them. Everything was starting to
go back to its original color, as he ran his hand down my thigh. He bent his head
down, and I sunk my teeth stright into the weak tussue of his neck. The sweet warm
liquid flowed into my mouth and down my throat. Before he could sqreak, I gripped his
chin, my fingers in his mouth. I was suddenly filled with rage, and I dislodged his
jaw from the rest of him with one simple tug; and began to feed again.
* * *
I quickly brushed my wavy hair that was down to my shoulder blades and shoved
everything in my bag. I dragged it behind me as I went back to Fred's desk. With all
the stuff this bag has been through, I'm suprised it's still all in one peice. I set
it on the bench and realized Fred was gone. Maybe he went to go re-apply his
deoderant. Especialy since hes meeting the number-three richest family in the state.
Sure enough, he came back looking dolled-up. His comb-over was re-comed over,
his tie was re-tightened, the persperation on his face was gone and he was wearing a
new shirt. They must be arriving shortly.
"How much longer?" I groaned, even thought I knew it was only about twenty
minuts later. I was laying on the bench, playing with a lock of my hair.
"Sit up!"Fred snapped. "They're here!" He said and stood. Did all men that wore
ties have to smooth them out when they stood? They where usualy always smooth
anyways, werent they? I sat up and stood immidiatly. I stood behind Fred, so I
couldn't see the family and they couldn't see me. I was nervous, as always before
meeting a new family that was prabably gonna bring me back soon, anyway. Fred shook
two hands, though he'd mentioned three significant people. I peeked around him and
saw how clean they where. I stood straight and pulled my hair back in a pony-tail.
"Nice to meet, Mr.Gayfen" The man said. I could hear his repressing a smile.
Gayfen?!?! No wounder he never told me his name! thats hilarious!
"Nice to meet you Mr.Jasper. Mrs. Jasper. Would you like to see her now?" Fred
asked. He always did this, like I was some big prize for the family.
"Lemme see her, lemme see her!" The woman said exitedly. Fred stepped aside and I
was automaticly wrapped in an emrace by the woman. She had her arms around my
shoulders. I don't think she even looked at me. she smelled good, though. Not wanting
to be rude, I put my arms around her. Then she let me go and held me at arms leangth
by my shoulders. She studied me. My face, my stance, my clothes. It looked like she
was about to cry. Her amber colored eyes began to fill with tears. Then I finnaly
looked at her. Her skin was the same color as mine and her hair was, too, but it was
down to her shoulders. She passed me to the man. He was very handsome. He had honey
blond hair that was slicked back away from his face. His eyes where almost silver.
His skin color, too, was the same as mine.
It suprised me when he pulled me into an emrace. I hesitantly wrapped my arms
around him, too. He pulled away, studied me and I was suddenly in the womans arms
"Welcome to the family, Elizabeth Jasper" She whispered.
Maybe this family would be diffrent from the rest. I couldn't help but wounder.
The way they looked at me made me think the saw through my carefully sculpted
charade. I couldn't help but think they knew who I actualy am. I couln't help but
think they knew what I actualy am.
Then I got my answer.
Last edited: 19 August 2008