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This diary entry is written by LilMizzRainbow. ( View all entries )

The painful guiltCategory: my bloke
Monday, 25 June 2007
02:09:46 AM (GMT)
About 6 months ago my bf died instantly when his car was struck by a drunk truck
drivers truck.

EARLIER THAT DAY- he loved me more than anything cause he told me 24/7, but i had
kinda fallen out of love with him due to a new guy at skool. so i told him and he was
really upset. i went to say i was really sorry but he pushed me away and left in his
car and sped out of the drive way.

LUNCH TIME- i couldnt eat at lunch cause i felt sick with guilt of ruining his life.
i also had these really strange thoughts of him being in trouble, so i went to bed
for a while, but then i had a real nightmare of chris (thats him) being in a over
turned car and a truck  not far away. he had blood streaks on his body and blood all 
over his face.

12:00 midnight- Too scared to go to sleep in case i had the same kind of dream i
stayed in the awake watching tv. thats when the phone rang,i picked it up and i was
told everything from the hospital reception. i cried for hours and didnt go to skool
for like 2 weeks. i saw the pictures of the accident and my mind was racing as they
were exactally the same as my dreams and visions.
Now i hav to live with the guilt of the fact that i caused his car accident,i could
of saved him if i'd listened to my consiense and the fact that i found out a week
later that i did still love him and the other guy was a jerk. =-(

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