Wednesday, 29 May 2013
09:35:14 PM (GMT)
Socialism: You have 2 cows and the Government takes one and gives it to your
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the
other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd
multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever
cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge
others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim
full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you
have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but
at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp
field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell
one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while
waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in
the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince
other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the
past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen
of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you
get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
An Indian Corporation: You have two billion cows and you worship them while your
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about
how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so
Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
Cows: The shit you go through.
This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then
everything changed when the fire nation attacked
Last edited: 29 May 2013