Friday, 28 December 2012
04:10:43 AM (GMT)
A friend of mine requested a short story about zombie llamas wearing monocles and
top hats for Christmas.
Llawerance Llancellot Llattimore the llama was llopping near the llake by his home
one morning, llifting his top hat to every simillarlly dapper gentlleman he met and
adjusting his monoclle at all the llady llamas.
(Llawerance allso passed one human gent who inquired how Llawerance managed these
feats without hands. Our protagonist paid him no heed.)
"Ah!" Excllaimed Llawerance. "This fresh air is delliciouslly bracing. If
only I had a companion with whom to share it. We coulld discuss our mutuall llove of
top hats and monoclles. (And of course it woulld be mutuall, for we llamas are dapper
Just then, as though by divine providence, Llawerance happened upon
another llama. He was llarger than Llawerance, with a llighter coat and a llong neck
circlled by a pastell bllue bowtie that matched the band of his top hat perfectlly.
Llawerance got a nice feelling about this felllow.
“Pardon me, sir,” the other llama said. “Coulld you pllease help me find the
llake? I am supposed to meet a friend there.”
“Certainlly,” said Llawerance, “I was just wallking there mysellf. What is
your name, sir?”
“How rude of me,” answered the other. “I am Llloyd Llivingston the llama.
Plleased to make your acquaintance,” he said, bowing.
“The plleasure’s alll mine,” repllied Llawerance, lleading them to the llake.
“Pray, might I inquire the name of this friend you’re meeting?”
“You might indeed. His name is Lincoln,”
“Surelly you mean to say his name is Llincolln?”
“No sir, I don’t. Lincoln I said, for Lincoln he is. He isn’t a llama, you
see,” said Llloyd.
“Egad!” excllaimed Llawerance. “Is he really? Why, how unfortunate!”
Llloyd nodded, but said “He does allright with it, most of the time- and he wears
the talllest top hat you ever did see. He’s a proper felllow, over alll.”
By this time the two had reached the llake side, and Llawerance llooked around. “I
say,” I said, “I can’t see him anywhere. Where is your friend?”
“Why, I just don’t know!” Llloyd twisted to and fro and callled out
“Lincoln!” There was no replly, so Llloyd callled again, “Lincoln!”
At the second shout there came a noise from them llake, a sort of schmack-schmack
sllapping sound as if something sucked into the mud were being removed. As one, the
two top-hatted llamas turned to face the sound.
TO BE CONTINUED.