Wednesday, 8 February 2012
03:13:44 AM (GMT)
That's a big number. About a lot of things.
Suprising that I have so many things to say about these silly things called feelings.
Michael and I are doomed. I'm literally just buying time.
He doesn't like certain parts of me that I know aren't going to change, and I keep
telling him I'll change but I'm not going to. I like how I'm sarcastic, and know when
not to care. I like how sometimes I socially awkward and don't know how to handle
situations, I think it's adorable. Yup. There's Emma, having her self confidence.
Appreciating herself for what she is. And then here comes Michael In to crash the
parade. I need to be more outgoing, less sarcastic, and care more when he gets mad at
me for silly things. Like, he just turned bitch mode on. I don't care who you are,
stay the fuck away from my self confidence. If you're going to tell me I suck, that
other girls are prettier, and that you hate me, don't even bother.
He just told me he thinks we should break up because he feels single. And I didn't
know if I was allowed to tell him I did too, so I did, but inadvertently. I suggested
that we think of ways to feel less single, because like I wrote earlier, so do I.
Yup, then he told me I give him more shit then I'm worth.
I feel like jumping off a bridge, but am I going to? No. I'm just going to hope that
at some point I meet a boy who's as perfect for me as he used to be. I stay because
of that stupid voice called hope, and that fluttery feeling I used to have in my
stomach when I talked to him.